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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dagger323, Mar 30, 2018.
I find this really motivating! Please please please don't ever relapse
Hey man good to see you here. I’m pretty much where you are. Anhedonia creeping slowly out of it. I think binge drinking even only on an occasion delayed my recovery, although I was recovering. The crippling anxiety went away even still. So I stopped everything including smoking and limiting caffeine.
Have you got a working libido?
Does anyone else get flashbacks of your younger years. Random memories that you thought you lost. I feel like I'm not that person anymore. It feels like the good and bad is hard to remember if I try. It is weird. I was a normal person with regular issues like school, sports and family. It feels like school was so long ago when it has only been 1.5 years. I didn't have anxiety or insomnia, just a lack of full energy and total concentration. And the feeling that I had an addition that I thought was normal for teenagers. I fully committed to quitting 11 days ago and almost immediately flatlined. I have anxiety and panic attacks since last year. My head hurts and I can't concentrate. I need to write my weird thoughts. Thanks for reading and wish me luck this time!
Glad to hear you’re doing better. When did your poor appetite and pelvic/urination issues subside?
THANKS YOU MAN !
Im there, almost all off the symptons !
The worst is the back pain and headace ! But yeah, don't feel any motivation to do anything. Eat sleep play games, training, everything is just boring and i thought " can this really be withdrawls off porn and mb " and then i found your post and you have felt this too ! THANK YOU FOR SHARING !
I smoke and drink coffee and I don't think its halting my recovery. I even tried phenibut once in a while and it gave me no setback. Alcohol is tricky because it works inside the VTA. But I would nog worry about it that much, dont worry too much about "my precious dopamine receptors will never heal." There are lot of other systems at play here. Mostly the stress circuits.
I had a rough patch at around 100 till 130 days. Some nausea and stomach cramps at the right side of my abdoman and groin area. Thats all gone now and am mostly feeling dull (bored feeling) but slept pretty good with crazy vivid dreams last nights. I also wake up with morning wood now and then, but there's no real desire to look at pretty woman. Gotta do with the anhedonia low motivation thingy. I had maybe 4 wet dreams taht actually went about real sex and had no relation to porn. These nocturnal emissions were quite painful too tho. Crazy shit.
Btw I'm actually 232 days without PMO and 194 days without MO with fantasy.
Went to the doctor. They ran urine tests and checked my vitals. Everything was normal. Lately I’ve been having alternating pelvic/abdominal pain and discomfort seemingly coming from the prostate. I’ve had to get up multiple times during the night to pee which I haven’t had to do since I was a kid. I’ve seen a small amount of tiny white sediment in my urine as well which I never noticed before. Mentioned it to the doctor. He seemingly didn’t think it was a cause for concern. The other day my lower abdomen/upper pelvis was in some serious pain after the second time I went to the bathroom at night to take care of business. My lower back has begun to hurt and I swore before I went to the doctor I felt like I had a fever. They checked that too. Normal. I still feel like I have a damn fever. Muscles are stiff and sore as can be, joints hurt, I feel fatigued and tired. Overall I feel like shit.
Still sound like PAWS, brother..
Good you went to the doctor though.
Have you read @HMHU 's thread? In his work he talks a lot about the symptoms you mention
Yeah I’m sure it’s withdrawals, I’m just documenting these symptoms as with every new streak I’m on the symptoms seemingly are different. My first and longest streak of 48 days last year resulted in horrific stomach issues/ indigestion. One of my other long streaks back in October caused chest tension, difficulty breathing and heart palpitations. This streak has caused pelvic pressure/groin discomfort, urination problems (including weak stream), muscle aches, joint pain, and overall fatigue. I envy those that begin to experience benefits within the first month. How I wish I was one of them...
Yeah, if anything, my symptoms get worse/more creepy in the first months during a streak...
Yes ! And I it making me sick off myself sometimes. I get both back good and BAD memories.
During anouther streak i got back the memorie off me getting forced by 2 "friends" to suck on a 3 "friends" penis @ the age off 6 or 7... Otherwise i could't leave the room. That memorie wasnt fun..
That sounds terrible. No child should ever have to go through that. I am really sorry.
Wow no way. No human should have to go through that but especially a child!!
That's horrific, buddy...
Have you sought help or therapy for this?
Zero urination problems or pelvic issues at this point. Now it’s constant muscle aches, joint pain, and discomfort. Mostly in my lower and mid back but it moves around (today it was in my upper back between the shoulder blades). My wrists hurt, my ankles, knees, thighs, neck, hips, and even my gluteus. Constant stiffness all over my body. My joints crack all the time, more than usual. I’ve taken pain killers and they’ve done nothing.
I’ve also noticed a massive surge in my appetite accompanying these symptoms too. I’m eating larger than normal portions and am still hungry...
Same thing here, I have constant muscle stiffness, legs neck, and shoulder. My joints crack a lot too, I wonder dopamine has something to do with muscle stiff? Since I always noticed that every time I fap, the stiffness one day later comes full force.
I'm at the stage still in flatline. Although thoughts pop in my head time to time and my penis responds with a semi. So I seem to be getting somewhere and it's quite consistent now too. I hope in a few months time I'll be seeing some real positive shit.
Flatline on 500+ days streak? how? still?...
Mate it happens. 90 days is fuck all nowadays for severe addicts. I've been relapsing In a flatline state for years, this obviously sets you back and damages you even further.