Finishing day 32 here, feeling nice and today I did spend almost all day out of home visiting my family and in social places (shopping center). Good thing, I'm starting to lose social anxiety... I'm still pretty anti-social, but now I don't feel fear of strangers and can keep good eye contact with people who pass by. Mmm today I had a struggle though: in the church I attend there was this beautiful girl, I couldn't stop looking at her every now and then LOL but then I saw her with a guy, probably her bf, so I of course stopped looking at her. The problem is that like minutes after that I noticed I was wet out of nothing, and no, I didn't have sexual fantasies thinking about that girl, just looked at her... don't know why it happened, but okay I have to improve my self-control. And well, the last hours I've felt lonely again. But I remember this self-improvement journey of mine will be mostly lonely, and the rewards coming are worth the patience, sacrifice and hard work. So I have to just wait a little more... good things are coming, but I have to do my best first. I'll succeed in life, whatever it takes...
Day 2 is completed. Reading about everyone else’s experiences has been helping me a lot. I wish everyone to be successful in this journey. On to day 3.
P: 34 days M: 60 days O: 60 days * 5 PMO but no relapse * 1 MO but no relapse * Averaging 10 days on PMO
Day 9 I didn't had internet so I didn't post anything from last 2 days. Nothing great happened in the last 2 days. Today i fought hand to hand with the urges, i'm really happy now. I don't know why.. But i'm so Motivated today. I'm doing meditation and affirmation every day. I'm trying to find positive vibes from everything.
Day 12 completed✔️ Today was a hard day... 3-5 times urges tried to entrap me. I read my commitment which is saved in written form, in my phone and thought why am I started? Now, after surviving the day I feel great but I realized today that I should do more, should make some strategies to avoid fu*kin temptation.... I don't know how I win but I know clearly I am not going to lose this time.. Never relapse friend... It is very bad for mental health Also, this night I had first wet dreams in this journey. I feel naturalness in my body.
Beginning to understand how much of a fucking ball ache this is going to be. Literally and figuratively. Only averaging around 10 days of nofap. (Overall I've fapped 6 times in 60 days.) But just to make the situation even worse, I calculated if I fap today then my average will go down to 8.5 days, (60 divided by 7). If however I do not masturbate and get until tomorrow my average will go up to 10.16 days, (61 divided by 6). How the fuck does this make any sense . This is gonna be one long journey man. Ffs. Fml. And every other fucking fuck word you can think of.
Finished day 3. Day 4 here we go. Also, I realized today that my longest streak in the past 6 months was like 8 days. This is pathetic. I will get past 8 days this streak.
P: 35 days M: 61 days O: 61 days * 5 PMO but no relapse * 1 MO but no relapse * Averaging 10.2 days on PMO
Don't worry. It may be frustrating but compare yourself to your past self. Look at ALL the progress you have made. 10 days?! Not sure what your streak was before but I can only assume it as less than 10? Well done! Keep on going. It's a slow progress but every time you relapse it doesn't go all the way to 0 because you have already grown and improved over the pas days.
