Day 18: my friends are here and we’re having a really good time. I don’t have any bigger urges but I sometimes get stiff very randomly when a small sexthought comes to my mind. Next week I will establish healthy routines with going to gym again, drinking on Friday and not before.
I'm abstaining from PM only and yes, grindr sucks. Cause it'll get you all horny and shit, and then no one will show up, and then you just have to sit there being horny.
Totally agree. day 20 today: my friends are leaving today and I am happy that they are because even though we had lots of fun, it was really exhausting to go partying everyday with them.
Day 21: My updates were not very detailed these last days and I have seen a bad development. While my friends were here we drank alot and we also used drugs, too many. also because I was very horny I downloaded grindr again. yesterday, i did a videocall with my boyfriend and we were both jacking off but i didnt come. Anyways after i was so horny that i started sexting on grindr and sparely watching porn. Now I am at a Point where I dont know whats the best to continue. jack off without porn once to take the pressure? jack off to porn once to take the pressure? meet a guy to take the pressure (with the danger of having a bad date)? Just try to continue this streak and get rid of all the bad habits (GRindr and Porn here and there)? I really dont know what to do but i tend to meeting a guy because it would be the only natural solution for releasing pressure. I will come back to this forum later.
I decided to delete grindr again and jack off once to a sex story. I released pressure and I will not fall back to the chaser effect. I will start this new streak with the progress from the last streak. I felt like it was better ending this bad behavior now instead of waiting for a grindr date which could have taken a while.. Now I am clean again and don’t have pressure. new streak: Go to gym 4 times a week for the next two weeks (1 time this week already done). In 2 weeks I will get visit from friends so I might not be able to go 4times. It is Tuesday now and Tuesday the 5th of April is day 1 of this streak. I am still able to get over 30 days of streak until my boyfriend comes here. I will do that. No peeking and for gods sake no grindr.
That would have been an option too, you're right, but as he is doing nofap too, I didn't want him to fap either.
Day 2: Day 1 yesterday was succesfully passed, and I am starting to feel better. A reason for this might also be that I have tried to eat many fruits and vegetables in order to get some vitamins. I tried to smoke less cigarettes than usual on monday, and my conclusion is, smoking less makes me feel better. I am pretty sure that if I would manage to stop smoking, I would be so much happier. Less headaches, better mood, higher libido .... I just need to stop. I set myself a new date for quitting smoking. the 25th of April is supposed to be my first smoke free day, it is two weeks before my boyfriend will come to visit me. I need to do this because it will help me so much. I think nothing can help me more than stopping smoking. Until then I will definetly be strong with nofap, and also continue when I have stopped smoking. It might be one tough week but I will do it. I am pretty sure that I didn't lose all the progress from my last streak. The setting is good to make this a really good streak. The weather here is getting really good, I don't have to drink all the time, I'm going to the gym again and I am trying to have a diet with many vegetables and fruits so that my body gets what it needs.
Day 3: yesterday I messed up and was really drunk and we used one drug. Today I smoked weed and drank one beer. Now I don’t have any wer left and I won’t buy any. Later today I will go to the gym.
Reset: Friday is day 1 i didn’t go to gym, I got horny because of a call with my boyfriend, and now I messed up. i will go for 30 days. Checking in here 2 times a day
Day1: i was at a rave yesterday with lots of alcohol and drugs. I slept only 2 hours and am trying to stay awake until 9pm or so, to get back to a normal sleep rhythm. The next week I won’t drink alcohol! No drugs! And I will be serious with nofap again. Daily checkin.
Day2: yesterday I felt like shit, didn’t have enough sleep, my head was not clear at all. I also felt unmotivated to do anything, even watching a movie felt boring and not satisfying. I was on YouTube and none of the recommended Videos felt like worth watching. This is the hangover from MDMA, I’m sure about that. I hope it will end soon. Today after 9 and a half hours of sleep it’s a lot better but there is still a way to go. I will go to the gym today and maybe work on some university stuff. I don’t feel any sexual energy, except when talking to my boyfriend on the phone.
Hello there I have been reading your journey so far and from my point of view i can see that the reason you have been relapsing is that you are missing your boyfriend hope you will be reunited soon
I am really missing my boyfriend, I think when I can see him regularly again I will be satisfied by having sex with him and I won’t need any porn. I think another reason for my relapsed is my inconsequential lifestyle right now overall. Lots of alcohol, nicotine and drugs now and then. I will change this.
Day 3: did a day trip to a desert today, it was really nice and I am really tired and will go to bed now. No urges.