THE SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE! What is your Power Level?! (RANKS ARE BACK, GET YOURS NOW!

Day 188

No issues / urges the last few days regarding porn. Dating doesn't lead to anything yet and is a bit frustrating. I did MO some last week but I always feel kind of "meh" afterwards. So after watching this video (see below) I decided to challenge myself and see if the sexual frustration "itch" will reside some more. I am also going to train myself not to stare at hot / beautiful women any more. Only leads to more frustrations and akwardness.

Day 3 of hard mode

 

Day 1- starting today, next post on 12 pm tommorow , wish me luck

 

Day 27

 

Relapsed, day 0 today.

Series of events: I went out with a girl yesterday and that was a fiasco.
She delayed the date 15 minutes and then was 15 minutes late on top.
I told her I am not cool with that and we broke it off on the spot.
I went home frustrated and ate more than I would like. I also slept late.

Next day I started working and had some difficulties with my task.
I again ate too much and then got an urge. I lost my self-control and gave in.

I now see all these instances of lack of discipline as attempts to escape negative emotion.
It is all connected. Breaking my discipline in any one of these should be an alarm that something painful requires my attention.
I start again right now and I'll incorporate this knowledge in my new effort.
I need to be mindful of the chaser effect for the first few days.

 

Day 59 saiyans

I messed up lst night and slept after work, now my sleep schedule is all messed up. Gonna have to fix it this weekend.
Keep going saiyans

 

Day 407

 

Day 123, still going strong.

One day at a time!

 

Day 2 - I have succeeded day 1 wish me luck for day 2, lemme test and push myself to the extreme

 

Yesterday I mean to say day 27, not 28. Sorry... lol.

 

Alright fellas, looking good! Got one week under my belt today with no P, no M & no O in any part or order. After speaking with my sponsor about amends I’m going to practice a step 9 tonight and call the girl I randomly hooked up with 3 weeks ago. I’ll be on a train headed south so no chance of it escalating to sex tonight. My intention is to communicate to her that drinking and having unprotected hook ups with people I just met has been a bottom line behavior for me that im seeking not to do anymore. To own my part in it and simply acknowledge how that may or may not have impacted her. Then open up the line for feedback and listen to her response without the need to justify or defend. Will see how it goes. I plan to make the amends call tonight around 7:30pm on the train. Will let you all know how it goes.

week 1 on hard mode complete!
(悟) Low Class Warrior ▬ Training in the ► SUPER SAIYAN CHALLENGE ◄

 

Day 408

 

Day 60 saiyans

I dont know what it is with me an having a proper consistent sleep schedule, but mines all messed up now. Was doing ok before. Going to have to reset my sleep. My training has taken a hit because of it too which really pisses me off
Keep going.
Fight or die!

 

Tip for the future: always show manners and class. Never show they got to you.

 

Day 29.

I've been having difficult on sleeping this whole week every night and I'm not sure why. And I forgot to meditate yesterday, it's not cool for me.

I'm gonna start reading another book by the end of this weekend.

 

Day 190: Only 10 days left to the next level!

I slept reasonably well, had a nice relaxing day yesterday: went to the gym with a friend in the morning, read a good book in the afternoon and ate a good meal and had a fun salsa class in the evening. But yesterday slept a bit restless and woke up at 4AM, luckily could fall asleep again after a while and woke up at 7:30. Still felt a bit groggy / lethargic yesterday and thought was due to the busy day at work the day before. I did take a nap around 4PM which was nice but felt rushed / stressed later and felt it in the evening. Normally tired at around 9PM, now still awake at 11PM.

Went to bed and slept pretty oke, woke up again in the middle of the night, sat on the couch for a few minutes and slept till 6:20 which is oke again. Still felt groggy / lethargic again today but a bit more relaxed. Work was oke-isch but still felt more groggy afterwards. Feel somewhat demotivated and lightly cynical / depressed. Could this be me having side effects from not MO for 5 days? And or is it part of my no porn streak? Or something else? I don't know, apart from dating, women and a sexless life everything else is going good to very good. Just cannot seem to find any motivation in a lot of things and especially trying to contact / date women online since the last 5 women I spoke to lead to nothing. I even dreamt of hugging with a nice woman I know who has given me buying signals in the past but is married... that was nice. I do have an interesting click with a woman online who lives in my city but is out of the country for 6-8 weeks for her work / visiting her family... Maybe I'll go for another stroll in the park and read a book before trying to go to sleep and hope I'll feel better tomorrow.

Frustrated lonely guy, out!

 

Day zero

 

Day 3- it was quite difficult on day 2 but i managed to recover myself need more power

 

Day 125 in progress.
The last week has been busy, keeping me away from devices most of free time.

I can say I have kicked the habbit of automatically searching for naked pics (brain candy). In the first 3 months of my reboot this was mostly a conscious effort every time I was picking up my phone.
But I have just realised now I don't have that thought anymore.

Still angry a lot. There are many moments during my day that I see things that annoy me, like lazy work colleagues, or people playing the power games, or my kid acting out. At least I am better at keeping my shit together and doing my work.

Still not imune the female effect. I was watching the clip @Lexro84 posted the other day and being a celibate resonates so much with me. I would be so much happier just to be imune to any sexual desire.
Now as summer is here there are so many more women showing off their bodies (insta-porn culture). It's hard to not notice them.

Stay strong everyone, one day at a time!

 

Checking in.
On the same day I failed I had my first kick boxing class.
I was told it would be exhausting and tough and well it was.
The thing is I resisted binging ang relapsing further to keep my energy for the training and it worked.
I guess having something positive and challenging to look forward to keeps gives you motivation to be responsible and stay away from harm.
I keep fighting, day by day, until I'm free.