I am not sure. I wanted to say my psychological problems (anxiety, traumas, etc.), but I am anxious all the time and urges are not all the time. I don't know. Maybe it's just hormonal fluctuations. Testosterones? My hrum is standing every morning now. Sometimes triggers happen (like seeing attractive person in the street), but I don't think it's the case now - this stuff is more like a summer problem and now not summer. Thanks for raising these questions!
Day 75 - Warrior Shadowfax, the chieftain of the race of the Mearas, the greatest horses of Middle Earth, comes to your aid. Shadowfax is capable of comprehending human speech and runs faster than the wind. Quest Aid – Shadowfax
Day 43. Sup, brothers? I don't know what to say... I thought a lot about honour yesterday and today. If I was honourable, this "no pmo" thing wouldn't be a problem at all. Why? Because honourable person keeps his promises. I promised to myself a year hardmodes without shutting blockers down. So why is this even an option? Why do I consider shutting blockers down? Honourable person wouldn't even think about breaking his promise. But no worries. I will learn to do this little by little. I am praying to God to help me. No lying, openness, keeping my promises. Trying every day. Jesus loves us so much. I will never be worthy of that love, but I can at least try a little bit to be a better person. So what is the truth today? Not much temptations. I can't wait for the evening. I am in the village these few days and I asked for my mom's car to have some fun. I will drive to desolate places and speed till my heart is satisfied. No worries. It's not much powerful Ford. I could try to satisfy my "speed needs" playing computer games, but my philosophy is that it's better when it happens in real life - even in the lame form. I will keep searching for what does it mean to be a human. Abstaining from pmo is part of the process. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 43. No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.). Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.
46 days – Lady Galadriel, Princess of the Ñoldor, gives you a bow such as the Galadhrim used. Among the best bows of Middle Earth, the bow was longer and stouter than the bows of Mirkwood and it was strung with a string of elf-hair.
Checking in Fellowship Friend's! 13 day Free of PMO. Very stressful day, I'm also quite angry. I got a workout in after work and aim to mediate some more. Stray Strong! 13 days – The PMO forces were at your tail but you crossed the Ford of Bruinen, leaving them behind. The House of Elrond is in sight! @Kairose You are not pathetic or weak brother. Do not attack yourself this way, there is no benefit. Rather put in the effort to change in the areas you feel you are lacking. Highlight them and work towards the goal you want in each category. Have such an opinion of yourself only takes away strength from you and encourage a self-hatred relapse spiral. You've had an insanely good streak and you've also garnered tremendous knowledge from it. Look back to what that was like, reflect as you can. You are strong brother and don't even think otherwise. @Paul S. It's my pleasure brother, we stand together!
14 days Low to middle urges today. Now I figured out that when I'm alone my relapse routine is to start surfing on the web, so I know that I don't have to do it (especially when I'm alone). Worked out and took a cold shower. Keep strong my brothers.
70 days! I have been thinking about writing my story of fighting PMO. I definitely will. But I need some inspiration; I hope to find it soon. I think I have a lot to say. I feel like I'm on a mission to prove that PMO addiction is more serious than it seems, and not just in teenagers and adults, but even in kids as well. I had a childhood under the total control of lascivious desires, which did not let me enjoy that stage of my life at all. But well, I'll go into details when I tell my story. Let me know if you're interested in reading me. Thank you and let's keep fighting this damn addiction brothers!
Day 44. Day started ok. Got up on time. Breakfasts. Wrote some formal letters that I had to write. I will go to the pool today instead of street gymnastics. It won't build my muscles, but I think it's as good for the spine or even better. It's just for today. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 44. No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.). Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.
Still no P, but went to an e which required going to an e site which I stayed on longer than necessary so because of this and the mag stash scanning earlier in the week I'm going to follow through on commitments made earlier and reset my counter. The only way to wrestle back control of our minds is a min 3 month detox of all triggers and an absolute ban on fishing as it just never stops once the u let the worm of lust inside your mind. Strength to all the fellowship, it's back into the hourly battle for me! No Fishing & No O - 0 days No PM since Jan 28