35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. InnerMan

    InnerMan Fapstronaut


    Yesterday during sex I stayed too close to the edge for too long and although I squeezed I inadvertently dribbled. Guessing I lost maybe 15% of my stock.

    But what's interesting today is that I notice my mind saying 'You've already lost some, you may as well go for it, empty out, and start fresh again.' And because I'm a little down for having dribbled, I'm more apt to listen to that suggestion. What a sly game of self-deception. I know that if I act on that impulse, not only will I ACTUALLY lose what I've attained so far, but will very likely end up binging, and who knows for how long.

    So today is about fighting the good fight by observing those suggestive whispers of my lower self and countering it in whatever way I can. For starters, reminding myself that I managed to retain most of my seed, and taking it from there.
    RightEffort likes this.
  2. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 93 - Pretty calm for me lately. I've been spending time reading some journals here and have come across a few that were very helpful and thought-provoking. Basically, now trying to figure out how my nofap PMO-free lifestyle fits into the overall bigger picture of my life. That is, assuming I don't relapse into binge behavior. For me, I think I will not consider it the end of the world if I have a reset every few months, but I am not planning on it. Feeling pretty strong about being able to avoid full-strength P. Read an article about dopamine effect on the part of the brain that controls "wants" versus "likes". Described me exactly. It got to the point to where I really didn't find PMO pleasurable anymore (didn't "like" it) but my brain "wanted" it because of the dopamine rush. And so for twenty years I kept at it. Back to the bigger picture - what sort of man do I strive to be now that I no longer have the burden of shame & guilt from PMO and having to lie about my private behavior all the time?
    RightEffort likes this.
  3. yes - I have been there!

    Great job for being able to see the ego's thoughts and disregarding them.

    This process requires tremendous patience, and self compassion, self forgiveness and gentleness in this process.

    Just realize no effort on this path is without reward.
  4. great insight!

    there is a major difference between fulfillment / contentment and short term illusions of pleasure/joy.
  5. I'm going to be away for 3 weeks friends, heading to a meditation retreat - look forward to connect next year.

    be well
    tonyk1982 likes this.
  6. i was just going over my previous posts, and saw this "imagination post"

    Reading it over, every single thing in it has come to actualization (new place new joy, new peace, financially made more money than the past 3 yrs, and new career)

    The only thing that isn't so is the relationship part but upon further thinking, even thought i didnt have sexual relationship by choice, I have been intimate with many women during last year in a very beautiful, non sexual friendship and I feel a totally new way of relating to women now - my view is completely changing.

    But reading this imagination post and how it actually resulted in real change, I felt like it can be inspiring to those of you who are looking for a reason to stop.

    I am now curious what would be the calling for the following year, may be i'll make an imagination post again for the next year and see where that takes me.

    Attached Files:

    tonyk1982 likes this.
  7. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 99 - as I approach 100 days which is quite a milestone given my state 6 months ago, I am thankful for everything I've learned on this site and for the fellowship that has supported my battle with PMO addiction. There are plenty of struggles still, less to do with nofap and more to do with my overall direction in life. It seems that the distraction of PMO didn't allow me much time to focus on meaningful issues. And without the constant guilt and shame of hiding my PMO habit, my mind and soul are free to pursue more sincere and thoughtful endeavors.
    RightEffort likes this.
  8. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    I want to leave you greetings and good wishes, on this special date for many of us.
    Some are making extraordinary strides in overcoming PM and I congratulate them!
    But I also know that there are those who have a very hard time moving forward and these festive times tend to unbalance us due to melancholy, missed goals, loneliness, etc. Especially those who are in the worst of the fight, I want to encourage them to keep going. Every little achievement, every hour or every day "stolen" from PM is a win and counts. Let us fill our minds with good things and hope.
    In particular, I have found that the love and power of Jesus were vital to overcome PM.
    A sincere and affectionate greeting to all, since you have helped me so much to move forward!
    RightEffort and tonyk1982 like this.
  9. InnerMan

    InnerMan Fapstronaut

    The initial burst of motivation and energy to start my current streak has faded for the past 10 days or so and what's left is a daily battle to keep focused. This is good. Can't just rely on momentum gotta dig deep.

    Keep up the good fight over the holidays gentlemen and all the best!
    Inspired2chg and persona2903 like this.
  10. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

    I seem to keep relapsing, but I'm still here trying to get healthy
    persona2903 likes this.
  11. Inspired2chg

    Inspired2chg Fapstronaut

    I hear ya. Most days for me are better than others on this fight. I think I’m at a stage where I have the initial improvements of no PMO but still haven’t totally rebooted. Maybe being single and not dating much is playing into that.
    persona2903 likes this.
  12. InnerMan

    InnerMan Fapstronaut

    I relapsed a few days ago, which is not how I saw myself entering the new year. Live and learn. Back on the horse! God Bless!
    persona2903 likes this.
  13. Phoenixoutofit

    Phoenixoutofit Fapstronaut

    Returning to this group after a while. I actually successfully no-fapped for over three months in 2020 due to family issues however I have been dragged back in and it's getting worse. I need to draw a line under the addiction once and for all. There are so many things to accomplish, which I am neglecting. If 10000 hours make you an expert then I've probably surpassed that. What a waste of time. I've rejoined now as I want to kick off these horrible chains once and for all.
  14. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Welcome! These ugly moments can become a turning point in our lives. Recognizing the problem is a good starting point. I believe that writing your experiences on a daily basis will do you a lot of good, and focus on living each moment in the best way.
    We are here to help each other!
    Let's go ahead!
    tonyk1982 and Inspired2chg like this.
  15. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Welcome back. In this community, we have all experienced much the same feelings as you. We're here to help - you're welcome to read my journal to see the time I've wasted in my life and to see that it is possible to overcome the addiction. Stay strong.
    persona2903 likes this.
  16. Amen brother!

    Well said.

    no effort on this journey goes to waste, we may fall a 1000 times but the 1001 time we rise again, With this type of commitment and our faith and devotion victory is certain, ONE day at a time.
    tonyk1982 and persona2903 like this.
  17. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    If you want to be part of the group again and appear in the statistics of post 1, request it. There will be vacancies shortly.
  18. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

    I have four days clean again. Exercise is helping. Being back at work is hard. I don’t like my job and it’s hard to ignore.
    persona2903 likes this.
  19. Els11

    Els11 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    I have read the rules and would like to join this group
    persona2903 likes this.
  20. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Hello, you are already on the waiting list and soon, when a place is made, we will incorporate you into the group!
    RightEffort likes this.

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