Feel behind everyone else in the dating/sex world

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Koloz, Jul 21, 2017.

  1. Koloz

    Koloz Fapstronaut

    This really sucks, I'm 21 and never kissed or girl or done anything with one. This goes back to middle school when puberty started to mess me up. I had social anxiety disorder and severe acne which ruined my teen life. Aside from that though I'm completely inexperienced with everything when it comes to girls. I think it's impossible to find one over 17 that is a virgin. I'm screwed aren't I
  2. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

    There are surely women around your age who are virgins. You can't just expect every girl around you to not be a virgin. It's not a fun mindset to be in. You don't want to worry about chasing around women at 21. Live your life and do what you want to do. Try to befriend women that you know and women that you don't know. Don't try to jump the gun with a relationship as your first thought. That'll ruin things and you'll look desperate. Women can tell that.
    PedroCalrissian, Bel and NoBrainer like this.
  3. I hear you fella. Are you feeling depressed and upset because you need connection to a female and the experience on how to relate to her?
    And when you remember your teenage years, you get frustrated because you were wanting to share in a relationship with a girl?
  4. LavaMe

    LavaMe Fapstronaut

    I understand the feeling. I was like that. But don't worry about other people. Don't feel like you need to be like them. Be confident in who you are. Be confident in not having experience. Own it. If you don't you'll be afraid of the real you. And that is actually unattractive to women.

    Tim Tebow claims to be a virgin. And he is a tall, fit guy who I assume women find attractive. But he owns his virginity. He wants it. He isn't worried about what other people are doing. Now you might think you are nothing like him but trust me that in just being confident in who you are, whatever that is, you'll be just like him.
  5. FapNoMas

    FapNoMas Fapstronaut

    You aren't screwed theres plenty of girls out there that are virgins. I'm in the same boat as you ill be turning 19 this month haven't had a gf since middle school(i shouldn't even count middle school relationships but i do) and still haven't kissed or had sex. Save sex for that special someone. i feel like it'll mean more than just losing your virginity to some random thirst trap.
  6. robertgianni1976

    robertgianni1976 Fapstronaut

    @Koloz I'm much older than you and maybe I can't relate to you perfectly, but I will try to use my experience. I think the best solution for you is to try to be as independent as you can. Trying to be independent will help you to deal with people and understand them better.

    Also, think about this: how do you imagine the ideal man? Is he independent, reliable, hard-working, kind, sympathetic, loyal, easy-going, with a sense of humor, self-confident, a good dancer? A full-time or a part-time job could help you acquire some of or even all these qualities. A team sport could help you, too.

    Being with a girl is like playing in a team. You have to care not only for yourself, but also for her needs. This doesn't mean you have to give her anything - you have to inspire her and make her admire you and need you. For instance, don't buy her a car, but buy a car for yourself and take her to interesting places and help her expand her horizons.

    I know it's not easy, but all men have to go through this. And so will you.
    Empty Red Cloud and Slothman like this.
  7. fieryelf

    fieryelf Fapstronaut

    Dude, I'm 33 and in the same situation... Little piece of advice, stop caring about your lack of experience, don't worry if the girls are virgin or not and start trying. Don't give up like I did at 22, it's just gonna hurt your more. Take it one little step at the time and if you fail with one girl, go to the next. There's 3.5 billion women in the world, failing with one is not the end of the world. Only reason I'm not being more successful is because I suffer from AvPD due to years of self defeating thoughts, don't go there and keep your self esteem high.
    Empty Red Cloud and Properitas like this.
  8. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    No, calm down, you're still young. Twenty one is a more common age for virginity than you might expect.
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  9. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

    Comparison is the thief of happiness
  10. Slothman

    Slothman Fapstronaut

    I think you are overwhelmed by the flock's way of thinking 'i need to have sex at 16 y/o' 'i'm supposed to have girlfriends' 'i'm supposed to sex like crazy right???' well what i'm really sure about is "You are supposed to have fun in your life" Stop giving a f*** about what other says and do what YOU want.
    Being a virgin at 22 is not a bad thing at all.

    We live in a world where Sex is connected to everything and it's a shame that porn is also, it raised your expectations (i know it did for me) and most surely made you look the world different. Life is not about Sex, is about FUN.

    Good luck buddy.
  11. neoz

    neoz New Fapstronaut

    im 21 too in the same boat of you as well in sex and what The Wrestler said is the key ;)and i know how you feel man that shitty feeling of knowing that everyone is ahead and im learning to avoid that thoughts of comparison too that only leads to the shitty feeling.
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  12. Yarxing

    Yarxing Fapstronaut

    hey dude, 25 and virgin here.. partly because I was raised a christian, I have a amazing girlfriend of 24 who is also a virgin.. its like the guys above said, it doesnt really matter. there are all sorts of people walking this earth and also people who dont care that you are 21 and a virgin, you might even find one who happily wants to teach you a thing or 2 ;).
    LavaMe likes this.
  13. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    I lost my virginity at 18 , nothing to be ashamed about . If anything, I wish I would've waited longer... to be honest .
  14. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    I lost mine in college. People lie about when they did too especially guys.
  15. NightReaper775

    NightReaper775 Fapstronaut

    I am 21, a virgin. I used to think a lot like you, worrying too much about losing my virginity. However, once I came in terms (somewhat yet) with myself, I discovered that this feeling was just a façade, an excuse towards my friends, a suposedly necessary step I should have taken years ago and I did not because I was stupid or something like that. No, I was myself, I was shy and too chivalrous maybe, but it was not a problem and I do not regret not having had sex until now, because I now think about how it would have affected me with the prevalent PMO and dopamine-craving mentality: badly, really badly. You do not have to build a bunker around you, but you do not have to worry too much or you wil find yourself wasting your life into a problematic pursuit of sex. Try to build good relationships with people, be yourself and be happy, things will happen sooner or later.
    robertgianni1976 likes this.
  16. looking4cure

    looking4cure Fapstronaut

    I think that giving your virginity to someone you care about is one of the greatest gifts you could give to someone you really care about. I'm a virgin too but I don't think sex would be all that awkward if you both really care about each other
    chastedude likes this.
  17. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    Your first time is never good.
  18. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    Get the romantic first time vision out of your heads.
  19. Well, I've read something long time ago that helped me with being a virgin or even kissing a girl for the first time:

    "Your first time in everything is special, especially when it comes to kissing or having sex with a girl. Once, my friend asked me about my virginity, why do I keep it for someone special. So, after hearing that question, I've returned it and asked How was his first time? He began a story and man - He remembered everything, when did it happen, what leaded to it, what weather was it at the time, with who he made it, even girl hair color and her scent! Every single detail. And then I just answered - That's why I don't have casual sex with just someone out there. I'm still looking for someone special to share it with. If you just have seen his face after hearing that!"

    And that's true. Man, my first kiss happened like 6 months ago? And I remember all single details. If I could choose again, I'll save it for someone special. Virginity is a gift. Don't waste it for just someone. Share it with someone special. Just sayin' ;)
  20. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    It's not a movie.

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