I Lost !!!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Divyanshu Gautam, Nov 22, 2022.

  1. I am 20 but I am masturbating since when I was 12 . it has been 8years, There was only one time when I was able to quit Masturbation . And that too because I was busy in school and I didn't have my first phone. When I got my first phone, I again got trapped in this trap because I introduced myself to porn. Without My mobile, I feel so lone and when I use it , I have to counter those triggers which comes after seeing any sensual photo or video at random. I have tried to be tough on this. I failed everytime.
    Contacting any sexologist seems harder option for me
    Because society stares at you when you go to such medicals shops, and I can not handle that

    I really don't know what to do
    Because being tough every single day for masturbation can spoil more time which I want to invest in my career

    I feel like
    There is no solution for this.
    I will keep doing masturbation and keep regretting for it throughout my entire life
    Thousands of challenges I have lost against this giant 'Masturbation'.

    Nothing to say more
    But only two words
    Please help
    NickRivers likes this.
  2. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    I'm 37 and been trapped roughly since 12 or 13 as well. I've been working on this a while.

    First, read the basics. It's well written, and there's a lot of information in there to help you get started.

    After you've done that, spend some brain time getting used to a couple truths about quitting porn and masturbation. It isn't going to be physically or mentally pleasant. You may not see any "positive" results for a few weeks. You will probably have to take some drastic measures to pull it off. However, you can do it and it is worth the trouble. Especially if you already have a predisposition to disliking porn and masturbation.

    One of those drastic measures may be not using your phone. You already identified it as a problem. Some guys use porn blockers, but for overall mental health, I'd advise just taking a break from it. Social media is flat out not good for you, and the pressure of always being available through texts is, I think, unnatural and detrimental to our well-being. Leave the phone at home, or if you can't do that, put it on silent and stash it in a spot that's hard to get at, so you don't compulsively pull it out to check this or that. It may take a while to learn how to spend your time not browsing, but you may find it lowers your anxious energy. Just give it a try, for a week.
    You can still give yourself time to check email and messages, and do whatever business you need through it. However, if you're just goofing around with it, it's time to put it away.

    You are going to figure out what to do instead, for both PMO and for noodling around on your phone. I recommend exercise, which has been found to be positive for mental health overall. I run, a lot of other guys lift, but there's nothing stopping your from doing a few pushups, high knees, and whatever else you want to find. Just keep that heart rate elevated for a minimum of 15 minutes. That can't be the only thing, though. You'll have to think of several things, and make a real plan. Don't assume you'll be able to figure out what to do, or think about, when the time comes. Odds are you'll be wanting porn or to mess around on the phone so bad, you won't be able to think about anything else. When you have a plan already, you don't have to improvise on the fly and start the other, better activity, right away.

    That's probably enough to get you started for the moment. Best of luck to you.
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2022
  3. Andy1517

    Andy1517 Fapstronaut

    Yea I feel trapped also it’s like you’re stuck in A cycle especially with the one goin symptoms when shall it end
  4. I have tried many times to avoid mobile as much as possible
    But I don't have much friends or will say not a single friend.

    When I don't use my phone, I can't focus on other things things.
    But yeah
    Now it tells , how much strong cycle of this masturbation is
    If I am not able to leave my phone for some hours or days,how masturbation can leave me.

    But anyways I will try again with my all strength.
    Thanks for replying mate.
    My target is of 7days nofap and less use of mobile for fun.
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  5. atomicdibbles

    atomicdibbles Fapstronaut

    Desi? If you're struggling get help. People don't care. Might gossip for few days but when they see your resolve will shut up.
    I was at same stage you are in during 2013. Was 20. Just had found out about porn addiction being a thing. Got to know about YBOP.
    Gary Wilson. Gabe Deem. Watched porn first time around 12. Made unsuccessful attempts to quit since 13. Was clean for few months in school. My first and longest clean streak lasted 22 months. Yeah I relapsed after nearly 2 years. Fell flat on face. Slipped further down.
    I was overconfident during first streak. Didn't do any psychological work on triggers. Looking back those 2 years seemed lot easier to what I experience now. Was scared by temporary problem. Said fuck it might just fap to porn now. Dumbest decision of recovery. In 2013 I did have smartphone. Even wifi at home. But don't know how I stayed away from accessing porn on phone. I didn't watch much porn on phone back then. Was PC guy.

    You have to deal with socials somehow. People are hooked to FB, IG and Snapchat. IG and Snapchat are filled with triggers. Get a porn blocker. Tell someone about it. Maybe family member or friend. Better yet an addiction therapist. More you hide it more it spreads. You are at just right age to quit it for good. Don't do mistake I did. Superficial confident is dangerous. Do work on triggers. Set up contingencies.

    Drastic times call for drastic measures. You got this. I am envious of stage you are in. 20 something with bit of insight.
    NickRivers likes this.
  6. Yeah bro Desi.
    Thanks for your suggestion and motivation,
    As I don't have any friend to talk on social media.
    So I deleted these apps.

    Actually the big problem is that,
    When I don't fap for some days
    Urges become so strong that I can't resist even if I don't see any nude photo or video anywhere.

    The thing which I can say from my experience is that Never ever give these urges any attention.
    I have to remain motivated all the time and have to prepare myself for triggers which can come anytime.

    At last, Thank you.
    I felt really good after reading your suggestion
    atomicdibbles likes this.
  7. atomicdibbles

    atomicdibbles Fapstronaut

    I am glad!

    Give up porn. You can fap to physical sensation without fantasizing or visualizing anything. But this has another side at times. It can intensify craving to PMO for some.
    livinginhell likes this.
  8. livinginhell

    livinginhell Fapstronaut

    36 year old here. Trapped since I was 12. 24 years and still struggling. I would say do 'whatever' possible to quite this, even don't hesitate to tell parents if situation goes out of hand (I know it is extremely extremely hard advice) . Do whatever but don't do the mistakes I did. Just get out of it as soon as possible!
    last chance and atomicdibbles like this.
  9. Thanks for your concern sir
    Now, I am not struggling but fighting with those urges.
    I am getting new ideas daily to counter these urges
    I have never been that strong against masturbation like I am now

    I loved your support through this post
    atomicdibbles and livinginhell like this.
  10. livinginhell

    livinginhell Fapstronaut

    Glad to hear that, never get into the trap again. Build new habits make good friends (male especially) and get life going. Be something. Good luck to you and always seek for help here! Better you visit here daily for years regularly.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2022
  11. Sir
    I have made two strategies to get rid of Pmo
    1. Getting motivation for motivation, I visit this site daily whenever I feel bore rather than scrolling memes and reels on Instagram and exposing myself to pornographic stuff
    2. Readiness to counter Urges I am preparing myself for every urges , soon Number of urges per day will be decreased
    And I will get out of it
    But I will never be overconfident as this battle will last till I have breathe inside me
  12. livinginhell

    livinginhell Fapstronaut

    Well, I would say that you should come here voluntarily rather than when you are bored. Off course this doesn't mean that you shouldn't come here when bored but don't wait for being bored to come here. Just make it a good habit to visit every morning, during a day and in the evening.

    And yes good boy, you said it before I say that never be overconfident in this battle. PMO addiction is not something you 'win' against, it is something you 'live' without. Just live without it.

  13. Okay sir

    Share me if you need any help in this battle
    I know you have more experience than me in life
    I wish I could help
    livinginhell likes this.
  14. atomicdibbles

    atomicdibbles Fapstronaut

    Almost all addictions thrive in secrecy. Sharing them with person IRL helps with it. If you're too afraid to tell others around about it might write to them about it. Small hand written letter or few lines.
    goodman520 and Fullyawake like this.
  15. Furozima10

    Furozima10 Fapstronaut

    i would recommend that you follow this top 10 list of things to do instead of PMO for healing:

    atomicdibbles likes this.
  16. atomicdibbles likes this.
  17. OLLIE_100

    OLLIE_100 Fapstronaut

    On Nofap or when trying to get rid of a porn addiction some people have a habit of trying to hard to rid themselves of there addiction the best thing you can do if firmly decide if u want to beat the addiction or not and then after that live life without it such as pursing your goals or interests in life, spending more time outside and socialise more with others weather it is friends, family or new people. Meditation and breathing exercises are a must when dealing with urges aswell as they can relax and centre you during the urges.
  18. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    Porn leaves you always unfulfilled because you will always want more once you become addicted.
    last chance and atomicdibbles like this.
  19. goodman520

    goodman520 Fapstronaut

    Yes. Secrecy is the point, meaning that addiction is conducted in private. Since I realise that I chose to stay out my room and get myself engaged in outdoor activities (e.g. gym) and this really helps to reduce the frequency of the urge.
    atomicdibbles likes this.
  20. goodman520

    goodman520 Fapstronaut

    it is not easy at all and I am sorry to hear this from you. Give yourself some rest and take good care of your emotion.Only by that can you keep going and head to the path of reborn.

    A small tip for mindset——Simply stop masturbating is not the key. Replacing this terrible habit with a series of good ones. e.g. doing some exercise in the morning. Look for something more worthy for you in life.

    You have been through a lot, and you feel very frustrated for failure. When I do, I watch a movie (The Shawshank Redemption) and regain my power to move forward. If you watch it, let me know your thoughts. I will be looking forward to chat with you.

    Good luck bro