I never have urges, this is how you fight and erase urges forever

PermRB said:
Yeah thats what im realizing now. My internal spiritual life is the complete opposite of how my girlfriend views the world.
Click to expand...

I haven't met one real spiritual girl neither my father and we have been around in many spiritual groups. If a girl is into spirituality it tends to be more like trying to get material benefits from it like praying to get blessings.

In choosing a girl is more about how she is as a person rather than if they practice a religion. Some are even quite prideful because they think are "spiritual" they use religion to make their ego's bigger. Not all but a lot do it.
 
PermRB said:
Thanks for the insights. A rough road ahead it is.
Click to expand...

You are welcome. Spirituality is the most important thing and more hard than girls but careful with spirituality or being religiously blind specially if you combine it with girls it can give a severe case of nice guy syndrome. Thinking all beings are pure in nature well they are in the inside but it's how they behave as egos our concern.
 
Well said. You explained in a very simple manner. The extra energy needs to be used somewhere like physical exercise, or yoga, that's the only way to cure urges.
 
TheFlash123 said:
Well said. You explained in a very simple manner. The extra energy needs to be used somewhere like physical exercise, or yoga, that's the only way to cure urges.
Click to expand...
sure, physical activities and cold showers are the keys, biologically talking.
but as @modern milarepa often does, even some skills on how to redirect your sexual energy can help.

I still can't do it, he knows how to explain it to you.
 
modern milarepa said:
Prostate congestion too much buildup semen in the prostate so the body feels a need to ejaculate to release tension this will create different symptoms like body tension, nervousness, anxiety, fatigue, mental fog, lack of focus, constant thoughts about sex, being easily triggered and other autonomic symptoms like vomiting and even feeling like you want to fade. This is your body and mind telling you they need this sexual energy to be balanced or simply lose it through ejaculation. You are being attacked by your own body and mind.
Click to expand...
I think this is where a lot of the lust I am feeling comes from. Simply looking at a woman with shorts can fuel this process. Wet dreams must be another manifestation of this. It just feels like this is the autopilot setting more my brain now.. If we stay relaxed and/or exercise more frequently does the prostate congestion go away for good?
 
Redemptionyear21 said:
If we stay relaxed and/or exercise more frequently does the prostate congestion go away for good?
Click to expand...

it is the same thing I just said: being aware and relaxed. Sports dont help that much, it is your mind we are talking. the key is to not need anyting external or special relaxation techniques. these two have to become part of who you are.

you need to become a relaxed and aware person all the time that way there is not prostate congestion
 
Last edited:
modern milarepa said:
it is the same thing I just said: being aware and relaxed. Sports dont help that much, it is your mind we are talking. the key is to need anyting external or special relaxation techniques. these two have to become part of who you are.

you need to become a relaxed and aware person all the time that way there is not prostate congestion
Click to expand...
NoFap makes you a calm and chilled person in the long run.
You start to control your emotions and how you react to things.
So, consequently, less and fewer urges as long as the adventure goes.

But this is the experience of a fapstronaut that goes to the gym regularly, does cold showers, eats healthy and doesn't consume too much screen time or any video games.
My mind is pretty calm right now.
 
modern milarepa said:
Current streak: 408 days no PMO, semen retention

What is an urge and what causes it?
The urge is a mental and physical tension build up in a streak caused by an excess of sexual energy that is not balanced meaning in men an excess of male energy with a lack of female energy to balance it up so this creates a physical need to get rid of the excessive energy meaning excess semen, even too much of a good thing if it is not balanced can be troublesome. Women usually don’t have many urges because feminine energy is calmer and passive it’s not as violent as the male energy. Also male energy semen has a tendency to go out trough ejaculation for procreation and female energy has the tendency to remain in women’s body so they create children.

The urge can be called in western terms
Prostate congestion too much buildup semen in the prostate so the body feels a need to ejaculate to release tension this will create different symptoms like body tension, nervousness, anxiety, fatigue, mental fog, lack of focus, constant thoughts about sex, being easily triggered and other autonomic symptoms like vomiting and even feeling like you want to fade. This is your body and mind telling you they need this sexual energy to be balanced or simply lose it through ejaculation. You are being attacked by your own body and mind.

The cure : As you can see urges are not an immediate and imminent symptom that comes from nowhere it’s the result of accumulated sexual tension is a chronic problem. So you can see the cure is not an immediate treatment you need to treat the main cause, you need to avoid coming to the point of being in such a sexual imbalance so the urge does not come out.

PERMANENT WAYS TO HAVE NO URGES
Awareness: Recognize the urge is starting to build up, you have to be aware of yourself everyday if you are starting to feel tense like little tiny urges then you know you are creating sexual tension.

Relax: Once you realized urges are starting to build up you need to be relaxed. Ejaculation comes with tension, a relaxed man both in body and mind doesn’t ejaculate so this translates in no urges. Urges are build up tension, so start by building up relaxation. Simply focus on your breath, relax your face and have good posture, let your thoughts come and go. Be relaxed all the time it doesn't matter how hard life gets.

How to be relaxed:The point is to be relaxed in anything you do simply focusing on your breath and relaxing your face is enough. You can try meditation focusing on your breath, yoga, exercise. But the point is to simply be relaxed without doing anything special, it becomes part of who you are.

CONCLUSION
-Understand what causes urges and what they are: build up sexual tension that the body and mind is trying to get rid of by making you feel sick so you ejaculate.
-Awareness: realize sexual tension is starting to appear don’t wait until the urge is too strong to recognize it.
-Relax: the cause is sexual tension you fight with relaxation be a relaxed person and you’ll never have urges no more.
Click to expand...
This is such a great post.

I am currently on a 3 weeks no PMO and no sex streak. So it’s still too early to draw serious conclusions but here goes anyway. Been using this ‘relaxation method’, as you called it in another thread, as most important mindset these days.

I’ve not had any urges grow on me, I’ve had small ones but was easily able to overcome them by simply relaxing my body. By relaxing the body, automatically I also become in the present moment.

————————————————

In the past, I’ve responded differently to feeling sexual energy accumulate in my body. I would either:
-get very excited
-get horny and think about flirting with girls or fapping
-try to maintain the energetic and euphoric feeling
-look ahead in excitement about my goals and plans for the future
-feel restless and feel like I’m somehow ‘wasting my young years’
-start to feel really good about myself, essentially inflating my ego
-try very hard and in a very desperate way to suppress sexual feelings and forbid myself to look at girls in public

But now it’s just relaxing the body.

In the past, I’ve also tried to combat urges mentally. Trying to divert thoughts, convincing myself that I should retain. But now, I approach it more as a physical challenge than a mental one. And I think it’s working.

@modern milarepa can’t thank you enough for sharing thoughts here and providing guidance for people like me who have to figure it out all by themselves.
 
Report about me practicing this method:
On day 32 without PMO and without sex.

Saw a really hot young girl today on the street. My body responded by contracting muscles, increased heart rate, warmth and tingling in stomach, erection. I paid attention to what was happening in my body and relaxed by relaxing tension from shoulders and breathing into belly. No fantasies or thoughts about it whatsoever. Then she walked away. I enjoyed that whole situation from beginning to end. I wanted to say something to her but she already walked away before I could reach her (she was like 30 meters away from me).

It’s about an hour later now. I don’t feel tense, don’t feel any compelling cravings for arousal or release. I’m not dwelling on the earlier felt arousal either. When I think back about that situation now, I don’t feel horny about it.

Also I’ve been relaxing myself on random moments, for example when tying my shoes or sitting on the toilet. It’s making me a much more relaxed person and more aware of my body at any given time.

Feels like a very healthy and natural approach, not just to sexuality but to life in general.
 
PrioritySystem said:
Report about me practicing this method:
On day 32 without PMO and without sex
Click to expand...

It sounds you are doing good, you recognize the

PrioritySystem said:
Saw a really hot young girl today on the street. My body responded by contracting muscles, increased heart rate, warmth and tingling in stomach, erection.
Click to expand...

It sounds you are doing good, you recognize the reactions in your body which are fight or flight response and activation of your autonomic body an almost uncontrollable like most autonomic responses are.

In those cases you can act as if you were having sex and trying to delay ejaculation
In those cases you can act as if you were having sex and trying to delay ejaculation

Mind controls breath, breath controls blood, blood controls semen
When having sex if you are just starting to control ejaculation try to keep the mind calm don't focus so much on how beautiful or hot the girl in front of you is, don't think about reaching orgasm, turn the lights off or not much light so you don't get over stimulated by the girls body. Instead focus your mind on your breathing, try breathing slow it'll keep you relax and will slow your heartbeats if your heartbeats are slow you won't ejaculate fast heartbeats are require for one to ejaculate also to tense your muscles and pelvic muscles, so if you are relaxed you won't become tense.

Even do this not an ejaculation moment it will calm your sexual lust on the spot.

PrioritySystem said:
Report about me practicing this method:
On day 32 without PMO and without sex.
Click to expand...

This is when it starts to get difficult the first month is easy now due to spermatogenesis and the build up of semen the body wants to release it and impregnate women.

Spermatogenesis last 75 days after that usually sperm dies and it's reabsorbed if it wasn't ejaculated then semen starts to build up again little by little and you can take a break.

I think this is why 90 days is a good reboot number because if you can stand the biological effects of one spermatogesis cycle and the start of a ew one, you have gained a good self control of your sexual urges.

So in one way you are fighting biology and the other your mental accumulation of urges.

For example that autonomic response in terms of semen retention is a big red flag you are getting overly excited by nothing but is normal given for past as a porn addict.

Usually I get an erection only if I kiss a girl I like a lot, she is close to me or when having sex. Usually I don't get tense, nervous or any autonomic response out of the context I mentioned no matter the girl or what it see.

But before it happened to me. Be aware increase awareness and avoid triggers. You can not play so much with triggers right now.

Ill6say looking at thdt girl was completely unnecessary if you were not going to hit on her there was no need to fixate your gaze and mind so much you got an erection.

Even me I try to avoid looking so much at hot Girls even if it doesn't disturb me I even void looking at their bodies perhaps only when I first meet a girl or if I'm planning to hit on a girl only to see if they are hot and the after thdt completely forget about their bodies I don't look at them anymore perhaps some moments during sex.
 
modern milarepa said:
Current streak: 408 days no PMO, semen retention

What is an urge and what causes it?
The urge is a mental and physical tension build up in a streak caused by an excess of sexual energy that is not balanced meaning in men an excess of male energy with a lack of female energy to balance it up so this creates a physical need to get rid of the excessive energy meaning excess semen, even too much of a good thing if it is not balanced can be troublesome. Women usually don’t have many urges because feminine energy is calmer and passive it’s not as violent as the male energy. Also male energy semen has a tendency to go out trough ejaculation for procreation and female energy has the tendency to remain in women’s body so they create children.

The urge can be called in western terms
Prostate congestion too much buildup semen in the prostate so the body feels a need to ejaculate to release tension this will create different symptoms like body tension, nervousness, anxiety, fatigue, mental fog, lack of focus, constant thoughts about sex, being easily triggered and other autonomic symptoms like vomiting and even feeling like you want to fade. This is your body and mind telling you they need this sexual energy to be balanced or simply lose it through ejaculation. You are being attacked by your own body and mind.

The cure : As you can see urges are not an immediate and imminent symptom that comes from nowhere it’s the result of accumulated sexual tension is a chronic problem. So you can see the cure is not an immediate treatment you need to treat the main cause, you need to avoid coming to the point of being in such a sexual imbalance so the urge does not come out.

PERMANENT WAYS TO HAVE NO URGES
Awareness: Recognize the urge is starting to build up, you have to be aware of yourself everyday if you are starting to feel tense like little tiny urges then you know you are creating sexual tension.

Relax: Once you realized urges are starting to build up you need to be relaxed. Ejaculation comes with tension, a relaxed man both in body and mind doesn’t ejaculate so this translates in no urges. Urges are build up tension, so start by building up relaxation. Simply focus on your breath, relax your face and have good posture, let your thoughts come and go. Be relaxed all the time it doesn't matter how hard life gets.

How to be relaxed:The point is to be relaxed in anything you do simply focusing on your breath and relaxing your face is enough. You can try meditation focusing on your breath, yoga, exercise. But the point is to simply be relaxed without doing anything special, it becomes part of who you are.

CONCLUSION
-Understand what causes urges and what they are: build up sexual tension that the body and mind is trying to get rid of by making you feel sick so you ejaculate.
-Awareness: realize sexual tension is starting to appear don’t wait until the urge is too strong to recognize it.
-Relax: the cause is sexual tension you fight with relaxation be a relaxed person and you’ll never have urges no more.
Click to expand...
Poetic post. Everyone here seems poetic. Describing and glorifying semen retention. All these words become empty when an urge strikes. It is like describing the importance of dieting but if you diet incorrectly then an urge to eat will ultimately win Or you will suffer and use tons of will power which is also bad! Just like there is a correct and an incorrect way to diet such as adding fiber and low glycemic foods works billion times better than glorifying the importance of dieting and explaining to a hungry man why he will ruin his life if he gets fat. A hungry man will still eat! These words are empty and their value is blah blah. Just like your words :) There has to be a was to do semen retention wisely. Just like adding fiber. There has to be a trick / a method to diet / do semen retention to avoid urges! I am reading through your comment and all other comments and all I see so far is poetry.
 
RetentionDiet said:
Poetic post. Everyone here seems poetic. Describing and glorifying semen retention. All these words become empty when an urge strikes. It is like describing the importance of dieting but if you diet incorrectly then an urge to eat will ultimately win Or you will suffer and use tons of will power which is also bad! Just like there is a correct and an incorrect way to diet such as adding fiber and low glycemic foods works billion times better than glorifying the importance of dieting and explaining to a hungry man why he will ruin his life if he gets fat. A hungry man will still eat! These words are empty and their value is blah blah. Just like your words :) There has to be a was to do semen retention wisely. Just like adding fiber. There has to be a trick / a method to diet / do semen retention to avoid urges! I am reading through your comment and all other comments and all I see so far is poetry.
Click to expand...
they are not just empty words as evidenced by his 400+ days and numerous lengthier streaks. as someone over 3+ years in, i can say that if all the words become empty when an urge strikes, then you haven’t understood the value or importance of the words / teachings on nofap enough. it hasn’t been impressed upon your subconscious, your very soul.

There isn’t really a trick to getting this far although the closest thing to it i would say is understanding truth from lies. it is a universal principle (from the bible) that lies keep you bound but truth sets you free. As long as you are believing some lies either from ignorance or false beliefs (eg one relapse isn’t that bad. Pmo is harmless, it’s impossible to quit, it’s a natural thing to do) you will remain stuck. Changing your mindset is the key, as thoughts are the foundation of all your actions. Which is why internalizing at a subconscious level (NOT JUST SURFACE LEVEL) many of the words you read regarding nofap, is crucial.

The only way you can get to a point where you internalize it at a subconscious level is either through enough brainwashing (in a good sense) via reading these kind of posts till it sinks into your subconscious or via having enough experience with relapses to finally learn the truths the hard way yourself

Words and beliefs are very powerful my friend
 
RetentionDiet said:
All these words become empty when an urge strikes.
Click to expand...
to elaborate, i used to feel powerless when an urge would strike many years ago, even though i read a lot of nf material.

I knew nf was important but looking back i didn’t KNOW KNOW. It wasn’t something every cell of my body was united with. There were still some relapses, and understandings i had to come to to get to a point where relapsing was unacceptable, and even unfathomable.

Now adays, when an urge strikes… because i have the inner knowing of how important nofap is for every facet of my life and how much i would be damaged if i relapsed, because i know it deep down in my soul, i wouldn’t dare even contemplate relapse. There’s an immediate aversion. all the words and ideas i consumed before have finally sunk in and permeated my being such that now my mind is fortified against any urges. The urge doesn’t overtake me because i’ve already beaten it before it’s even come about
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top