The Lord of the Rings Challenge

35 days
Low urges yesterday. I Hanged out yestarday, was one of my friends birthday. Was good, I dance and drank a little bit. Was a good nigth!

Today I didn't worked out(my rest day) but I went for a 4km walk with my dog and took a cold shower. Today I will be with my parents house but I came to the office just for checking some job stuffs.

Keep strong my brothers.

 

Checking in day 239.

 

Day 26!

Thought about the challenge, and i think it is much more welcoming to new people, despite some earlier feelings that it was wrong to change something that was already brilliant.

When i relapse/relapsed i always search the internet for how bad porn is etc, because that made me feel better and gave new motiviation (and gave a good dopamine hit as the brain is just craving more after a relapse).

When then a rebooter searches this forum and finds this challenge, it will be much more welcoming and motivation giving, because you start out the journey right away and keep progressing in it every day.

Also, i think the earlier goal may have scared some people off. And now we can even go even longer than 500 days if we wish. Great stuff!

 

Ckeckin Out (way too late)

Day Feelin: moderate - little frustrated overall ok
Journaling:
morning routine (big) :
work-out/Cardio:
No Series/Games before 6pm(till 9pm):
NO PMO:


Greets out!

 

Day 10

Today was a pretty good day. Going through a heatwave where I live at the moment, really nice weather. Did the music at church and afterwards had a really nice chat with an older brother for a good hour or so. He took the time to listen to me, and gave me a lot of encouragement in the area of finding a partner. He told me I'm a catch and he told me he didn't want to see me wasting my potential. That meant a lot to me. I came out of church feeling a seed of hope in my heart for the first time in forever in the area of finding a partner. He said I'm a deep thinker, and he said maybe if I was dating then I could talk to a girl about all the things going on in my head and it wouldn't feel so heavy, but it would be enjoyable, and I'd enjoy hearing her perspective. Encouraging stuff.

Watched the Wimbledon final with my dad and then came home and begrudgingly decided to update my dating profile. I'm pretty fed up of that website, but it's worth a try and better than sitting around here being by myself. In the end it was quite good for me to do it, as I read over my profile from last year and remembered the person I was then, before the hurt, and I realised that I still am that person now. And I felt compassion towards myself. It was quite nice to do that for some reason.

We'll see what happens, but in any case I have a seed of hope, and that's what you need in life.

No thoughts of PMO whatsoever today. Think because I finally feel a little bit hopeful about finding a partner.

All the best, brothers.

 

Day 191

Quite a long day cooking on the BBQ outside in the sun, great way to spend a day but it was so flipping hot and by the time we were finished I was knackered. Getting a little nervous for a presentation tomorrow which has had me on edge for most of the afternoon, I feel like I was short with people when really I shouldn’t be worrying about these things and give people the time they deserve.

No urges today; I like many aspects of the new challenge format but still feel weird jumping to White Wizard so quickly, personally I like the idea of hard graft getting to 500 days - no matter, I’ll still be sticking around!

 

Day 339

 

It's weird to be a dwarf already, since I was creating expectations of reaching it for the first time tomorrow. But anyways, the challenge may change in whatever way, we are here because of the community, to hear others and to be heard by them, to exchange advice and knowledge, to edify each other. That's the reason for this thread and challenge, the LOTR part is secondary (and pretty nice haha). Even reaching the end of the challenge, I plan to stay here for a while.

My weekend was pretty nice. I went to a dinner at a friend's house yesterday and today I stood at home to get somethings in order. High expectations for the week, it will be very busy.
God bless you brothers!

 

day 2 - check out

Had an uneventful day, I couldn't complain.

 

3 days – PMO forces have spotted me!! With haste I use the Bucklebury Ferry to cross the Brandywine river.

Thank you @RiseToGreatness , I appreciate it

 

Day 32 complete

I was camping from Friday evening to Sunday evening and I was outside of internet reach so I couldn't post here. These days went well, without any urges that I could remember now.

@RiseToGreatness great changes. I can't wait to try the hard mode, tho I didn't find a description of what hard mode is.
Edit: okay I see it now. Should I start from day 0 or just just go through the hard mode, but also continue the regular counting?

0 days of hard mode complete

 

Day 2
As weird as it feel, I kind of get why we need to stop ourselves from feeling like orcs and nazgols. But after two days, I feel like a Sackville-Baggins at best.

But so far so good, meditation and a determination to stay in hard mood for the first time gives me hope for a better future.

 

An observation-after a while of hard mode rebooting(smth about 2 weeks) there is some optimistic attitude of mind that sets in us which tends to grow with the number of clean days lived so that even if we mess up in other areas of life it keeps living in us as an expectation of something good happening to us,something good is coming our way and occasional bad stuff looks temporary and surprising but not discouraging for our growing inner worth depreciates and discourages all pessimistic thoughts in us.

 

Day 75 completed.
75 days – Shadowfax, the chieftain of the race of the Mearas, the greatest horses of Middle Earth, comes to your aid. Shadowfax is capable of comprehending human speech and runs faster than the wind.

Quest Aid – Shadowfax

 

Sorry to report that I relapsed yesterday. I didn’t have a solid plan after reaching the end of the challenge and got a random “fishing” text with a sexual image attached that started the downward spiral to eventual relapse. I didn’t binge so I will just pick myself back up and start again. Day 0. I’m trying to not be too hard on myself because I don’t think it is helpful.

 

You are a living proof that it takes longer than 500 days and ring once experienced is always there no matter the years went by. The only thing we can learn to do is to avoid getting ourselves into condition of its coming back to life(and 730 sounds about right to learn it well ), its resurrection. For I believe it can come back even years later, like a dormant seed in the soul...
'That wound(pmo) will never fully heal. He will carry it for the rest of his life'
Gandalf

So its up to us brothers to never give any water,sunshine and earth to the cursed seed of pmo.

 

day 3 - check in

Got ready for jogging, then had to abort the plan as my upset stomach from spicy dinner last night called for a redirection to bathroom. Bummer :-( Will do some at-home exercise instead.

 

You had 500 days under your belt. It's a small setback as you didn't binge. I fully concur that being hard on yourself does no good. Picking yourself right back up is the best way to move forward.

 

Checking in. All good. Time to set some small goals and achieve them. Have a great day, Fellowship.