70+ tips to Make Nofap or Porn Free easier & more effective from someone who has gone 1000+ days

30) Dont make it harder for yourself

Whats hardest mode of nofap about ? NO PMO.
i know two approaches for this, one that majority try is managing their journey, feelings and thoughts by willpower they relapse not because their hands went to porn website automatically but they fail because they make many prerequisites for purity.
they start negotiating with their brain and when pressure of impulses (see next post) reaches a certain point they find it legitimate to relapse this time for the last time and start again stronger and better.
prerequisites make Nofap times and times less effective because addict connects purity to something out of his control
John because of his job went to somewhere with no internet access and has been Porn free for more than 90 days, but john in his normal life cant live a whole week without porn Why ? because he believe's he should be able to manage his thoughts the way he does with porn (See below), he also does not uses porn blockers because he wants to do it all on himself alone.

 

31) Thought and stress management without porn

thought and stress management with porn like substances is forceful, after using brain gets overwhelmed by novelty or drug and thoughts disappear or their speed dramatically slows down.
but in normal thought management an outside stimulation is not needed.
Jonathan gets an stressful thought and his chain of thoughts begins:
Though : "What if i look like a dumb tomorrow when meeting with old friends ? " and chain starts from here.
Chain : "if Sara asks about my job i will smile like politicians and will say i manage all company's money">
" but politicians are jerks what about faking an athletic mode ?" > "what if i just look fake ?" > "John used to ask about hobbies what are my hobbies, is chess considered as a good hobby? ">"No i'm not good at it they may ask for playing and i may lose"> "Oh how should i smile ?" > "Oh jack is coming too, he was an asshole i want to ruin his life">"what shall i say ? what is my best hobby ? how to ruin jack ?" and he keeps thinking and hits the wall there are tons of unnecessary thoughts and again condition is mostly uncertain.
then another chain of thoughts starts the he says to himself "my thoughts are really getting out of control and its only been 2 days porn free, maybe i should watch some and calm my brain and just forget all thoughts then i would find a way to not relapse anymore"

random thoughts do come to mind without asking for permission, lifestyle change may change their quality but they come without permission.

What was fist thought ? "What if i look like a dumb tomorrow when meeting with old friends ? "
he knew that this is just a random thought, but its also a question, he should find an answer for it, he should find an answer by will. we may be not able to stop random thoughts but we are not have to respond them, Jonathan wasn't have to respond to his first though, he also could stop when noticed that he is just answering some random thoughts.
THIS IS NOT FORCEFULLY STOPPING, THIS IS NOT FORGETTING THOUGHTS THIS IS SIMPLY NOT PLAYING THE GAME MIND ASKS FOR PLAYING

 

Your welcome, glad you liked it.

 

Thx @Burak1999

 

32) Accept that your gonna leave this world

Its hard to accept but we are all temporarily alive, our bones and skull are going to survive far more years than our brain and heart . That is sad to accept that we’re gonna die but it’s reality. Maybe biggest reality by accepting it I understood that no amount of being alpha or having blondes or booze is going to change it they are just make us temporary forget that despite all these progresses human beings still die.
Im an afterlife believer, not because it feels good but because it makes more sense to me but even as an afterlife believer i should accept that im gonna die. When certainty of death gets accepted, time becomes valuable and hot girls and drugs and fame seeking turn into time wasters and seeking them constantly means digging a deeper rabbit hole.

Technology can make us dig deeper holes if we are using it as an escape.
Check this links :

http://www.recoverynation.com/recovery/recovery_workshop_002.php


Depression and Suicidal Thoughts in Recovery

I like how homer describes tv:

 

33) Get rid of your toxic ego

be aware of toxic ego and how it can take you down, your ego can tell you that you should not feel like this, that you deserve better than this withdrawal symptom or normal negative feeling life throws. that you will find a way to solve all your problems in a way but now you should stop feeling bad. just watch porn and then you can find the secret to successful recovery without feeling the negative.

the fact that person thinks he should not feel so, that he deserves better than others because he/she is he/she is toxic ego and that can ruin your life. Ryan Holiday wrote a book about ego (Ego is the enemy ) that you can read.

i myself do have difficulty with my ego, but when i dont look at my ego, it can make me act obsessively and compulsively.

 

34) Are you a people pleaser/impresser

if you are then its going to be harder to live based on your values.

i dont know why but it seems that people on nofap either are more likely to be people pleasers or are more prone to stop it.
just google people pleaser to see for yourself.

people pleasers do have what others would think as one their big or maybe biggest indicator of wether they should take an action or not but they are not the only group, impressers are same they may not please some and act pleasant to others but they want to seem impressive (maybe everyone want to some extent i dont know) they may fight, may bully someone just to look powerful or impressive.

if its you as i said earlier you may better to think about it, write your thoughts down. whose opinion is more important.
why do you think that or those people's opinion matters more to you ? think on paper to get a better understanding.

 

35) your future self is not a jerk have some guilt free hobbies

Now that i look back in my PMO days, Porn was the only guilt free hobby that i had for that moment, not that porn was something productive to do but its intensity could wash the guilt away for a while. i was trapped in what should i do for my future 24 hr/day most of the days passed by just thinking but still i was under stress of future. now as a 24 i'm future of my 17 years old and i'm not a jerk toward what i've done then, actually i wish i had some more fun then i could do more in productive hours and had better memories of my past days.

now with porn removed i need some guilt free hobbies, time spent for having a good day is not the time wasted.

 

36) Notice your ignorance

Porn and other sort of escape behaviors let us to not face reality, they delude users and help them to become more ignorant.

Occasionally noticing your ignorance can help you to face with realities you’ve ignored for years.
But why i dont simply say dont be an ignorant person or always follow the truth ?

Because not always we do have courage, power, or certainty to do so. We dont always know what truth is but we can notice that we are overlooking some facts, i may not be sure wether the guy telling me something against my friend is right or wrong but i can notice that im ignoring the possibility even if at the end of the day I decide it doesn’t worth to talk about subject with my friend.

Even if you dont have the courage or will or knowledge to see reality at the moment Noticing your ignorance is the turning point.

Range of things and thoughts you may ignore is wide it can be things and facts like :

I’m not that special.

Life doesn’t owes me anything.

Today is a new day i dont need to play the role of victim because of yesterdays.

I was rude when talked with waitress.

Im M’ing more than what i want to.

Im gonna die one day.

Some people do have better opportunities than me.

I have better opportunities in life than billions of other people, just because of where i born and my parents not because im fundamentally better.

Ads that are telling i deserve the best are just made to make producers sell products.

I have not heard reasons of other party yet.

My siblings or friends may have been wrong and i. Just blindly followed their path.

My vote and its effects on people inside and outside of my country.

Or ignoring possibility of :

Being wrong.

Not making a good decision.


And . . . .


How does this helps with defeating porn ? When you overlook facts and reality they don’t disappear. You just make more distance from reality and porn can make you stay in LIE LAND for a while. When you can face realities, you dont need an escape like porn.

 

Your welcome, glad you liked it.

 

37) Replace guilt based productivity with healthier productivity.

After a relapse of a porn user the promissing part begins.

In this part the user wants to feel better, wants to wash the guilt away and wants to prove him/her self. After abstaining for a while he/she is not feeling shame anymore and initial buzz fades away so recovering user needs to replace unhealthy motivation strategy of shame with healthier strategies.

Now he/she can do productive things, not to prove him/her self to people around but because he/she finds those things good to do based on his/her own understanding and core values at least to some extent.

 

Your welcome, happy you liked it.

 

38) Do Some charity work

breathing indicates that we are living but that has nothing to do with being alive.

helping others help's us to feel alive, feel useful, being align with our core values and maybe give us some hope about our humanity.

also thinking about other's problems makes us live outside our mind which makes urges and depression way easier to conquer.

 

39) notice small differences

pornography is exaggerated, its vastly different from real life.
when in recovery its better to start noticing small differences. whats the difference between waking up at 6 A.M. and 7 A.M. ?
whats difference between going for a walk today or staying at home ? whats the difference between today and when you started your recovery ? probably none of them are life-changing they wont GRAB your attention like porn, but they are slightly different. waking up at 6 AM is slightly better and maybe you are just slightly better than when you started, maybe you are still depressed but its slightly better. notice this small differences, dont force yourself to get excited by them but let your brain to rewire itself simply by noticing them.

 

40) Dont force attraction

During recovery you may lose interest to other sex, this can feel odd. dont force yourself to get aroused by certain thoughts or get attracted to certain type of people, if you are outside and you see an objectively attractive person, dont make weird stories in your mind to get aroused. just see that person notice him/her and let your brain to get rewired. btw your old way of attraction probably wasn't even healthy and maybe was from deep insecurities instead of genuine interest.

 

41) Practice patience (and it doesn't need to be hard)

porn use to get rid of urges or uncomfortable feelings is an instant but bad cure, having more patience helps you to see your long term benefits more clearly in hard times and to not fall in trap of other unhealthy behaviors.
but patience is not just deciding and fighting with your will power, you can learn how to be more patient.
here is a link you can start with :

Impatient? Why and How to Practice Patience