70+ tips to Make Nofap or Porn Free easier & more effective from someone who has gone 1000+ days

whoami33

Fapstronaut
In this thread i post suggestions about things that may make your journey in Nofap/Pornfree easier, remember these are Tools to help you not missions to complete.
beating an addiction is a hard thing to do by it self you don't need to push yourself by doing things that you don't want to do when you are under pressure of quitting.
so please don't make commitments to complete some of these tasks each day, just do them when needed, when they can ease your pain or solve some of your problems.

Doing all of these techniques together is not a good suggestion, do them until they help.

Edit: i do update this thread occasionally, if you want to get notified of new updates watch this thread, the photo below shows how.

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1) Distinguish between old porn, new porn and masturbation.

Porn has risen with growth of technology, Nofap supporters All know that tube websites are not same as old magazines or even old websites with mostly static pics. but when it comes to stoping porn use most want to stop them altogether including masturbation.
Why ? mostly because those are hardly wired to each other in addict's brain and using one leads to another but with the help of next post's suggestion you can have easier time leaving modern age porn for good and gather more strength to live without old porn and masturbation too.
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When i try it ? This is a mindset and had it just the beginning of my current streak.

Update 2018 nov 6 : I have linked to A post which has part of my story in it in #2 and its related tip #1 and #2
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2) Block Porn Websites

with help of some strict porn blockers you can block porn websites, of course loopholes always exists but when you want to stop porn use, making access harder means you automatic brain needs to get help from your rational brain, part of your brain that already knows porn is bad, use strict porn blockers and make hard random passwords for them, put their passwords in places you wont easily access and whenever you find a loophole block that too, you may consider blocking reddit and tumblr's image servers and twitter and instagram too.

most people dont use training wheels when riding bicycles while at the same time they wouldn't master riding bicycle's skill without training wheels. living life without porn is an skill too, use porn blockers as training wheels.

ps: you can also use self-control apps, thanks tealhill for suggesting this one.
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This post may get updated later with more details.

Part of my story, related to this tip and #1 : One of the most best thread, if you are young read it. (Its not written by me).
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3) Mindfulness meditation

Benefits of Mindfulness meditation has been noted here so many times and by many users but no matter how many people recommended it i couldn't do mindfulness until i found this link from /r/meditation 's wiki https://thebuddhistcentre.com/text/mindfulness-breathing
in this method you dont need to check your thoughts force your attention to breathing from beginning or reseting counting to one each time new thought came by(each of these methods making beginner wondering am i doing it right ?), you dont need to go through all stages in each sessions either (at least i dont), sometimes i stay in stage 1 whole session.
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When i try it ? currently im using it every day since day 60 or so, but you can try it whenever you find getting crazy with thoughts andn want some control over speed of your thoughts.

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4) Intermittent Fasting

This one helped me so much to feel better, i dont know why it works but some say its a beneficial stressor like cold showers and some say its one of the most productive ways to increase testosterone naturally (i felt manlier by trying it too), whatever the reason is, it works, if you want to try it. check here : https://www.reddit.com/r/intermittentfasting/wiki/index .
there are many ways to try it and i use 16:8 as i know there is a 12:12 way too but not not included in the link above.
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5) Cold Showers

This has been beneficial for many here in nofap, i tried it couple of times and felt great afterward but still dont do it regularly.
its great to kill urges, feel manlier and stay alert.

https://gettingstronger.org/2010/03/cold-showers/

author of this blog claims that doing beneficial stressors like cold shower over time becomes easier but their benefits rises over time, and if you can not do cold showers start with cool showers.

I cant say if this has same category of benefits or not but if you are not willing to go under cold shower may try to splash cold water on your face, wash your hands with it and/or keep your foot under cold water for a while.

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7) Journaling / Free writing

journaling your day is an effective way to write down your thoughts and see what you went through, also a good way to chill out.
just remember you are not writing for others but your self, you can start by writing what you have done like a diary and then probably your emotions and ideas will come and you can think on the paper.

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8) Manage you life

if you think about work, relationships, future, how to deal with friends and all other problems each hour of the day with no timing, your thoughts will wrestle with each other to get your attention, managing your time can make your mind a lot calmer and your life more peaceful. you can use clues to send the message more clearly.

for example make your bed in morning and put something on it until you planed to sleep or nap, this tells brain that sleep time is over.
if you work at home, wear your work outfit (something that would be more appropriate for work than you pajamas).

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Solid ideas, good job man.

Seeing a hooker when you’re horny af helps a lot too, unless the rebooter has the goal to abstain from climax as well. But most around here fail to quit PMO because their balls are about to explode lol :P
 
10) Mind Body Scan meditation

This meditation helps you to connect with sensations in body and after a while helps to get familliar with impulses you receive during the day, by spotting their origin in body you can See them as what they are, physical sensations not mighty commands.
Guided meditations for MBS tell you to focus on one area for a while then move on to next but i found it easier and still effective to focus on tense parts or parts wanting to tell me something, and give them attention, love , liquid light, breath in there and ...
read this link : https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/how-mindfulness-meditation-helped-me-a-sex-addict

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11) Change Your mindset from I Am to i Currently Am (growth mindset)

This can be very life changing, changing your self talk from something that describes you to something that describes your current situation.
Example of first self-talk: i cant do this, i cant write that letter, i'm not motivated to do my homework, i hate (somebody).
Example of second Self-talk: i dont feel like doing this now, i cant write that letter because of other jobs or my mood yet, im not motivated to do my homework yet, i feel anger toward that person now.

IMO people struggling with addiction are more likely to have first self talk and have fixed mindset.

Dont be a perfectionist , if 95% of your self talk was Fixed, now just changing some of them sometimes, will give you good result too, this is not something that you need to complete 100% to see result and probably you would never reach 100% growth mindset and its a good thing, i think in some cases we need to have relatively fixed ideas about some matters.

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UPDATE : This also helps you to see beliefs that you would suppress with previous approach, if you deep down have no hope to become porn free with your current (2-3 day) streak you probably will suppress your belief, you'll try to motivate yourself but suppressed beliefs wont go away, but if you change your thoughts (sometimes) from i wont success this time like before and i'll fail to i'm not sure Yet or after watching porn telling your self not yet instead of i failed. this helps to see the reality more clear.
during recovery you may go through depression, anxiety and many negative feelings. changing self talk helps to remind yourself current situation will change even if it doesn't feels like that.

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12) You dont want to watch porn, You can but you dont want to

this is what really happens when you are not watching porn, you dont want to watch porn, better to distinguish between wanting, being able to do something, liking something and . . .

you may like that cake, nude pic or you may feel urges to eat or watch but in the same time dont want to eat or watch.

these are very legitimate sentence:

i like cake but i dont want to eat it.

i feel urges to watch Nude pics but i dont want to.

What that means ? you are not an slave to what you like or urges that you have, your not trapped to go after whatever you like or feel urges for.

if you tell yourself i can not or i should not watch porn, this puts porn on pedestal, it becomes forbidden great fruit, it becomes like going to bar for someone underage, you still desire it and soon willpower comes short and relapse happens and binge occurs too because finally you got what you couldn't get or violated the rule of i shouldn't so use as much as you can.

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13) ERP (Exposure response prevention)
Well i dont think this is going to make your recovery easier now but makes recovery more effective.
ERP for drug addicts is like showing them pictures of drugs and then asking them to resist, why its effective ? because it helps brain to rewire cues from old habit of drug use to something else or generally get desensitized to those cues, by doing so if the user after months and years see's drug in real world he is less prone to give up, but what about porn ? watching Porn on screen is the last thing some one here wants to do. Im quoting this from YBOP, feed the right wold has its way of erp too but i find it hard to follow regularly :

We must never never actually look at porn. This is what we are trying to overcome and looking simply strengthens the neural wiring. We have to use the thing that is our target for change. Our memory, our brain itself. What we do is replay the first part of the circuit then smash the second half to pieces.

Here's what I do.

I find a quite place where I won't be disturbed for 10 minutes. I have an interval timer set to 3 x 3 minute intervals.

  • 0-3 Minutes - I close my eyes and imagine the most explicit porn I can think of. Using the circuits in my brain I use my memory to recreate the first part of the porn / acting out cycle. I want my brain to think its the real thing happening. The stronger the better. Inside my scull, my brain does not know any different. My pulse goes high and my breathing shortens as I "go for it". Fully clothed and with no hand stimuation at all. Eyes closed and no actual porn anywhere. I even imagine climaxing and contract my body just as I used to in the real situaton. I fool my brain completely. It thinks I am actually looking at stuff and actually masturnbating. The circuit is alight! On fire. Building for a shot of sex hormone! Anticipating the thrill. Receptors are on high alert. Incoming sexual high!......
  • 3-6 Minutes - Complete and utter stop! As sharp a stop the better. Abrupt. Savage. Images held a few seconds ago are gone. Just the quiet blackness of my closed eyes. Breathing is regulated and deepened. Breath in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, out for 5 seconds. Repeat. Thinking of nothing. Keeping blank. My brain has absolutely no idea what just happened. It has hit a brick wall! It is totally denied any of the chemicals that would have come from acting out. It is competely denied a response and its absolutely pissed! The only reason that circuit exists is because of the response acting out gives it. The brain circuit is begining to lose purpose as I relax and I fill my blood and brain with increased fresh oxygen. Still, quite, blank.
  • 6 - 9 Minutes - I spend the last 3 miuntes mostly looking at images of another woman. My wife! I have photos on my iPhone of us out to dinner, or on holiday. Of her when I first met her and more recent ones. I have a favourite love some playing as the slide show flicks though. I reflect on what I gain by beating this addiction and what it might cost me if I don't. I review some written statements I wrote that reinforce that fact and generally bask in the often teary moments when I realise what a stinking sh1t I hade been and how grateful I am to have happiness in my life. Having denied the circuit it thrill and now feed some goodness into it.
It has no alternative other than to change!

So dear friends....the take homes are these.

  1. Zero Porn Policy - Absoutely don't feed the bad wolf. This will never work if you sneek some soft porn or follow that short skirt along the mall.
  2. Practice ERP 2 or 3 times per day. It is the most wonderful experience actually fighting back. I was taking the sucker punch for so many years and simple retaliation is a refreshing expereince.
  3. This is not all about you on the inside. Go and be of use to some one in this world. Join a volunteer organisation. Distribute blankets to street people. Train for a marathon. Embark of new studies. Give the brain new a worthy places to change into. Fill the void with good stuff.
  4. Journal and support your friends here. You know, the time I have spent writing to you here has actually strengthened my resolve and simply telling you my story give me and other strength to go on.

Source and more detailed : https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/exposure-response-prevention-therapy-extinction

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