Honestly guys i don't know. I just don't care about them anymore. Dwelling about them makes it worse or relapses Also checkin'
Checking in - Yesterday I relapsed (easy access, alone at home), but I reinforced my blockers to help out. I`m finally working on solving the roots of my addiction, and that`s great. There`s a book that says that there`s no real cure without solving the roots of your addiction. So, optimistically, by the end of the next year, I`ll improve a lot, perhaps even overcome porn for good.
Thats great man! Solving the origins of your addiction first is definitely the first step, I too relapsed today after 4 days, my record is 7.
Day 44 I did a values quiz on therapistaid that helped me define my top eight values. So I made eight positive affirmations to remember live by and strengthen those values. I read 1-15 affirmations is the best range so that’s good for me. Fun right? I’m happy about it. Hm , I feel like things will be okay from here. Been through some hardship lately but I’m rebounding and rebuilding. Making changes to accommodate some things. I think I got this
Day 3 Cliff notes: Quick workout after work and I got my first perfect score on a quiz this year. Been dreaming about a girl when I go to bed. I think the girl is the same girl but she looks different, I have a habit of shapeshifting in my sleep and lucid dreaming periodically so I expect that any entities or what have you that pop into my dreams possess similar abilities, she feels like the same girl. I've been meditating regularly before bed and I expect to be transitioning into a Buddhist practice in the future.
Checking in - Today I had two wet dreams, but I don't think I'll relapse. Yesterday I was depressed about how sad and unfulfilled my life became, because of porn. Let's keep trying.
Day 45 Ditto on the keep trying This morning I felt like I was looking forward to living without the calls and posting. I've been through a year of AA and a year of gamequitters consistent attendance before I was able to do it on my own. This'll be my last year . Your legs get more tired the closer you get to the finish line. One day at a time though. One step at a time Just a little journaling to get me through today. I'll start getting in bed at 930pm every night unless it's a late night party. I love myself and I love you too -Zen
Checking in - Yesterday was awesome. I did one of the challenges to overcome shyness (which I thought I would never do), and I got a girl's number. So yeah, hopelessness is out of my system. ps: I noticed that I'm being more authentic. Because at the beginning of this year I had lost 90% of my essence and I didn't know who I was anymore. It was devastating.
@higor pereira araujo good job getting that number . Day 46 I’m hungry shoot I better get my training in asap I’ll have enough time probably. Just going for lunges and abs today . Situp Russian twist and heel touches got about an hour to do exercise then it’s time to get my Covid shot. Fun haha. Wonder if I can get the flu shot at the same time. I just wonder if that’s gonna be too much vaccinations at once Cora’s over it’s nice also I have fridays off permanently. Three day weekends let’s go. I’m gonna take off the week after next too. Zen deserves a break right now phew . I wanna study ten hours and ready twenty pages of the dharma and twenty pages of Bruce lees book on my week off and enjoy the rest of it. Have lots of fun time with Cora, watch anime, write my light novel, train insaiyan, maybe buy that dragonball and chainsaw man hoodie from Walmart I’ve been eyeing . And WATCH ANIME. Hhahaha.
