Domination Porn: Bad For My View Of Women

Hey boys, I just had a realization, albeit not a particularly unique or special realization. I have been gettin into exceedingly abusive porn recently, where the man slaps, spits on, and all around says extremely abusive things to the woman. The worst part is that I enjoy the thought of being the guy doing the abusing. My mindset towards women has changed so much, and honestly it makes me sad to imagine how my grandfather courted my grandmother in the day. So much has changed. I need to quit this habit if I ever want to have a healthy relationship with a girl. I can see how toxic it has been on my brain, and for the first time in a long time I can see that the reason my relationships keep failing is because I don't respect women anymore. To be honest I started to see them as objects. I'm ashamed brothers. I am going to make this post as a last send off for a while while I do a full dopamine detox to eliminate all temporary pleasures from my life.

Am I Toxic?

To give you all an idea of how much work I need to do before I am ready to date, there is this girl at my gym that I see around a bit. She checks me out quite often, and I see her looking me up an down quite often. Normal guys should think "Oh hey, a cute girl who likes me, I should go ask her on a date." My mind goes to, "Damn she's hot, I'm gonna take her home and, I'm gonna fuck the shit out of her until she calls me daddy." How is it that a habit started in childhood could shape me into a piece of shit? Do any of you have the same issue of overly sexualizing the women around you? It's like I can't stop. Even while I'm working I will see an attractive woman, and it's like for the next 10 minutes all I can think about is what I would do to her. So yeah, I think it is safe to say that I have become toxic.

The Root Of My Relapses

I think I have the solution for my problems. I don't know about you guys, but I always end up relapsing after watching movies, or youtube videos. Whenever I am out in public the urge passes, because I just go one with my day. Vs. when I am sitting at home and a movie scene of a sexy actress, or a video will come up and the thumbnail will be of some hot girls ass. Then I sit in my room, cock in hand for the next 30 minutes just cumming over and over. I literally can't stop myself until my balls are drained. So my solution is to eliminate the bad media that is causing me to relapse over and over. I am not super worried about my day count or anything, but I would like to build a healthy relationship towards women by the time I am out of school.

My Plan Of Action

1. Keep going to the gym, and build my dream physique. This will help with my confidence, and will give me something to put my energy into other than my dick.

2. Do a complete dopamine detox. All of these distractions, and triggers in my life need to go. Not even necessarily for porn, but because they keep me from striving for my purpose. But yeah mostly because porn does not align with my life anymore. Neither does masturbation. I have changed my mindset, and as Hamza says, "You have to be the guy who just doesn't masturbate." You know what boys? I am the guy who just doesn't masturbate anymore. Will I relapse in the future? Probably? Will that be who I am? No. I am going to keep cutting back on it until it happens so infrequently that it is like maybe once a year or less.

3. Meditate and be mindful. I want to master my mind, and be in control of the beast that lurks inside. No more letting him be the one in control. I want to flow through life like water.

4. I am going to keep building myself up. No more negative self talk. I may have failed in the past in some areas, but I was also successful in so many other areas that lead me to where I am today. This has helped me so much, and I expect it to help me so much in the future.

5. I am going to make my future self proud. I want the future me to look back in admiration, and be thankful for what I chose to do now. He will look back and think, "Wow, he had so much stacked up against him. I'm so proud of what he did to persevere, and keep working to provide what I have now." I know the future is bright for me in two years. I just need to put in the work now. As a summary' I just need to sacrifice all of the bad habits, and build good ones in their stead. This will make future me into one of the best men.

Thanks boys, I'm gonna log off for a while as part of this new strategy. Hopefully it will help me be a better man.