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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by MONSTER MONK, Jun 13, 2019.
@Action those are true words.
wanna clarify that I've actually had very few urges to watch porn but when I had my dick stop working right before gettin down with a HOT girl, the amount of shame and depression that brought has made it extremely easy to pass off any urges and find something better to do. However my balls have been fucking blue. I M'd to sensation & managed to stay completely out of my head with no crazy images flashing through. I didn't get the deep feeling of shame and sadness I used to when I would do it to porn. & most importantly that fuckin heavy, dead, drained feeling was not there, as it usually would be. It felt good to get relief don't get me wrong, but either way there is nothing better than real sex with a person that you have some sort of connection with. So I'm gonna continue on with no PM and slow grind this shit out
Wish everyone luck in achieving their goals. Stay strong!
4/7 Hell mode
Today was a shit day. WHY? Yesterday I did everything by the book, snuck out a party early went to bed. I was honest with a girl for the first time of my life... Crazy day.. But i decided to sleep next to my phone, which made me snooze while i was sleeping then cause me to wake up overslept and feel like shit. Then i got mcdoanlds in the morning which made things worse and to top it off I PMd.
The ultimate shit feeling is the fact i PMd, we continue doing things to us to cause resentment over things that provide us with instant gratifcication. I could have just went back to bed, logged on to NoFap, prayed if i wasent feeling the greatest, and went on with my day. Instead today i will be wasting another day or three living in my head.
Now i will continue the day with junk food, i canceled going to a concert and an AA meeting... i dont want to live in my head anymore.
Hell mode 6/14
Im fucken choked last night fucken went off my diet at my sis birthday party then continued at xmas party at night followed by pizza and PM at 2am. Next time I want to PM im gonna stab my self in the leg, or go outside and kick the shitout of someone. Why the fuck cant i fucken stop this fucken bullshit. Fucken cold shower fucken self inflation pain medicate i dont fucken know