New Method - best one so far for me

Hi everyone

I've quit this community about 9 or 10 month ago. The reason was too many relapses and I felt like I perpetuated porn-thoughts in my mind by engaging in a forum that is about quitting porn.
I still feel that way, which is why I still won't be an active user so to speak. However I've found a new method and wanted to share it with you because it works well so far. Meaning I had no days within my streak yet where it was difficult for me to abstain from porn.

Here's what I've done within the last 2 years of trying to quit porn more or less chronologically:
- Admit that it's a problem
- Consciously try to simply not visit porn sites (discovered my inner demon -> relapse)
- Punish myself for when I visit porn sites (feeling good through relapse worth more than punishment -> relapse)
- Getting angry at myself (-> self loathing -> more evil -> relapse)
- Being kind and understanding with myself (demon-self doesn't care -> relapse)
- Prayed to god in desperation (realized I still have to walk the path myself -> relapse)
- Joined NoFap (+ got more serious about quitting / - created a strong sense of having to "beat porn" which made it even more alluring and seductive -> relapse)
- Installed Porn-site blockers on all devices (some devices didn't work after update -> relapse. when it did work I'd try to find loopholes like different search engines and torrents -> relapse)

Then in the beginning of summer 18 followed a long period of postponing. However I did make relative progress: Before I admitted to my addiction I consumed porn at least twice a day. Now it was a once a week thing.
But even better I slowly got to the essence of what it takes to quit: Making a choice. And sticking with it.

Now to my new method: I basically adjusted my goals to a manageable size. Instead of saying porn is off limits no matter what, I told myself on the 2.1.19 that I would not jerk off to porn until my birthday 16.2. And then see what happens. My previous record streak was 17 days, so this would be a vast improvement if I manage it.

So I adjusted the timeframe: Instead of quitting forever, up to my birthday and then decide where I go from there
I specified my goal to not jerking off to porn. Meaning I still masturbated every day except when my gf would visit. AND whenever I had the impulse to LOOK at porn I went ahead and did it. Interestingly I got only aroused 2 out of 10 times. I'd jump between some videos for maybe 5min total and just look at it.
Now I've tried this in the past before but always in the spirit of "well let's see if porn manages to seduce me this time" and mostly it did, because I gave myself the option of failing.
This time however I've decided: No jerking off to porn til my birthday. So I don't care if I do or don't get aroused by looking at it, my willy won't come out and play period.

Why do I do this you might ask. Undoubtedly this method will seem either foolish or even senseless to some of you.
Well first of all the practice of reducing your goals into manageable portions is well tested in the psychological field. Generally if you keep failing at your goals it means you're aiming too high. So you deconstruct them.
In my case my ultimate goal is to have porn out of my life.
My first attempts tried to attain that goal directly. They failed in various ways.

What I've done now is to deconstruct the problem to smaller parts: I address the most important part first, to not jerk off to porn anymore. The other parts, like excessive lust during the day and the impulse to look at porn, I leave untouched for now!
The cool part about this is that I can already feel how I'm rewiring my brain. Porn does not have the same status in my brain as it did a year ago. It's become much more boring and in fact, when I'm following the impulse to look at it, my brain doesn't take long before it wants to do something else that's more rewarding like working/cooking/whatever because it knows I won't jerk off anyway.
Aside from that it takes away the fear from porn that people who are trying to quit naturally acquire. In the beginning stages of quitting porn became this evil entity that was able to corrupt me and that I needed to avoid at all costs. That gave it more power than it ever had over me. By confronting it and seeing it clearly for what it is, just some videos of people fucking, it's much less daunting. It becomes mundane and much easier to let go off.

I'm two weeks into the process and I already have less and less impulses during the day to look at porn. Best of all: It's easy. Unlike some of my other attempts that have been hellish mental battles..

So if you're someone who keeps relapsing you may want to give this method a try. The trick is specified clear goals instead of vague and (for a strong addict) unattainable ones like "I'm gonna quit Porn and Masturbation from now on FOREVER!!".

Motivation comes from positive emotion. And positive emotion is earned by observing yourself SUCCEEDING doing small steps towards a goal you give yourself. So give yourself goals that you can succeed at. Even if they are as humble as "I'm gonna start by not watching porn for three days, then I'll go back to it." Then after a week "Now I'm doing 7 days" 15. 30. etc. The turtle wins the race boys. The ever failing rabbit becomes depressed and suicidal.