I know straight effeminate men and "manly" gay men. PMO is bad for all of them equally. Sexual identity and gender expression are of far less importance than we tend to give them these days. None of it affects who you truly are -- and you are far more than your orientation or your gender or how you look or move your hands when you talk. I have it on the highest authority that you are greatly loved, just as you are, whoever and whatever that may be. Part of your journey out of PMO will be uncovering and grappling with the reasons you turned to it in the first place. Some of that will have to do with your identity and how you view yourself. It will be quite an adventure! Better days are ahead, if you will leave PMO behind. I am cheering you on toward that end, and toward a better kind of life!