Starting hell mode, been slacking with my life even though I did a lot of uni work. Managed 90% in my thermodynamics but I'm eating unhealthily, sleeping unhealthily. This isn't right. I'll check in tomorrow. I need to do this properly or not do it at all otherwise what's the point in trying to better myself and be the best I can be.
D36 Hm Today was a great Sunday. I advanced with my biblical reading to 2 Timothy (I will soon have arrived in Revelation and finished reading the entire Bible. I started reading it in March of this year). I was also studying all day, and then I was memeorizing my lines in the play. In the afternoon, in the Church, the rehearsal went very well, I remembered almost everything. Now, at home, I'm still studying. My brain is healthier than ever.
Day 3 I'm ready to start moving forward in life. Today, I made a poster board of all my goals and action steps to take. I'm ready to see what life will bring me.
Good day, pted as usual. Daily study completed. Hitting some problems. Just enjoying another day with a pleasure. Dear soldier who feels not making any progress. It's not determined by yourself, but folks around you. The last thing you want to do is cut off from the society. Or nofap lost its meaning.
Day 7 and actually on day 8. The rank of Sergeant unlocked, good, let's move on even further. These days I will be busy because I enrolled in online course which is intense so I will keep my check-ins laconic, yet, I am in and fighting fiercely, soldiers!
day 66 the hell mode checking woke up early worked really long and hard today had no time even for the phone(good thing) I meditate a lot and had some exercise after lunch I will meditate again and learn something new not a great day but still
Salute! Day 36 report is here. Social and carefree . Trying my best. It is a lot of challenges in front of my life. Being a youngin is a everyday hustle.
Day 1 report: I did this properly today I can say for sure. I got off my phone around 11:30 I think yesterday which was one of my aims. I laid in bed and I'm not sure what time I slept but it was quite late, I didnt use my phone or listen to anything. I know I will sleep earlier today though inshaAllah. I kept fast today, my mosque provides dates and milk and I've never had that combination before but it tasted amazing. I am going to have lamb curry with roti for dinner today and lunch tomorrow. I'm gonna have to buy some chicken tomorrow, I'll get some lettuce and vegetables and marinate it. Funnily enough I was eating unhealthily and I put all the junk food in my suitcase so I can just give it to my house when I go back. I did morning athkar and evening, it's kind of like meditating except I humble myself and praise and thank God, reflect and ask forgiveness for my mistakes and it takes around an hour. Usually 1 and half hour before sunset and half hour before sunrise. I need this even though it takes time out of my day, I feel energised doing this honestly. My day was a religious day, I read Qur'an, prayed with a lot of concentration and did all the dhikr after prayer, I needed this though and I will eat after writing this inshaAllah and make an itinerary for the week in terms of uni work. After sunset I walked half hour there and back and played football, its 1⁰C here but I know I've got to keep playing football and keep up my fitness. I played well and tried to push myself. I got invited to play a tournament on Wednesday aswell. I got my washing done and my room is tidied. May Allah make everyday productive for us.
It's my day 3 today, i'm not relapsing, but i feel like if i'm not having any real progress, these days are just bringing me to nowhere, i want to study but i procrastinate, i want to do important things and my brain just don't want it. Why is this happening? I'll search for answers.
Short answer is you are running low of source. When a car is almost empty fuel, can it goes further? Refueling takes 90 days. At least. Good day, fixed a software problem without any help. Took a little logical approach and time. Pted as usual. Need to work on a subject later. Read an article about the current chaos in american forces. The frontlines soldiers are having difficult times dealing with enemy and "inemy." Soldiers here, we need to know who is our real enemy. In my case it's not pornsites, dress killers or triggers, but my reaction to those. Like it or not, these will exist forever, I get to choose to be or not to be.
day 67 reporting the duty for the hell mode: woke up really early again without any alarm clock had my first hour routine of meditation and exercise went to the gym and trained like hell for 2 hours done some chores only after them I switched on my phone then I worked and studied but still cut some time in the break to watch a course I am following I am managing this hell very well by now so dear @MASTER MONK if you want give me some advice on how to make this hell more challenging I am here to hear you
Salute! Day 37 report is here . Humble yourself . No cap . Been reading, been working out, been on a lunch with a friend. Been on the track, been on the book. Just being here, there, everywhere . I am on everything . For real. Much love .
Salute. So happy to say I got back up after plenty of recent bad relapses and difficult moments. Since I really believe I am getting back my clarity of mind and sharpness, I dare to take on hell mode. I'm still standing. Better than I ever did. I am alive.
Good day, windy and coldy day. Received a letter from nofap about the groups and tips, which was a warmly reminder. One of them I agree so much is not developing anything but nofap only. From my past experience, that's the guaranteed way to relaspe again until die. It's also mentioned in the training camp too. Well the camp in my opinion is focusing more on how to live like a normal human being, without excessive behaviors. Those who are taking the course, I hope you're there.
Day 4 now, close to day 5, i'm not feeling motivated, positive or strong or nothing like these things i call you all are. I'm not on the flatline because my dick still have erections, i don't know what i have...
D38 Hm Today was an intense day. Bible class in the morning (3 hours), I attended the whole class, chatted with the teacher and he was pleased to see that I read the Bible regularly. I went to the afternoon class (3 hours), I also attended with enthusiasm. I shared a Christian song with the group (which counts a lot since none of my classmates are Christian, not even the teacher ... I remember that on 10/31 she didn't like me not eating the Halloween candy) Then, in my class, in which I am the teacher (1 hour. Theme of the day: Union with Christ), I think I have given a very good class. I wish everyone could believe in the truth of the Gospel. In the evening I went to the gym (1 hour today). I traded a lot. Thank God, since I returned there I have not been tempted again.