Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Jagliana, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 710: 01/08/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we did not talk because we spoke in the morning. We went to watch some TV as he gave me a foot rub. He had a back and forth with our eldest, and did not let her go to bed while listening to her phone (music). So, a few minutes it, my gut was giving me signals, I sent him back into her room and when he came back out, he said that she seemed okay. A few minutes later, she came out in tears and we had a good heart to heart with her, well at least I believe so.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How Self-Discipline Is The Key To Success", in this episode, Jim Rohn talks about how Self-Discipline is the key to your success. Remember, self-Discipline is the magic power that makes you virtually unstoppable.

    This morning, we couldn't go to the mall because we want to save miles, we were going to stay home but then I weighed myself and got into a depression... so we went for a short walk because it was bitter cold. We began listening to "You Grow Most When You Push Yourself Into The Discomfort" an interview with Nico Rosberg, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. So far we heard them discuss how Nico avoids pushing his children too much and about his rivalry with Lewis Hamilton. I mean we didn't get into much, but both of us agree that it is 'meh' so far, not sure if we'll continue it. Then we had a junk food-filled lazy day.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Jim Rohn - Successful People are Self Disciplined!


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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    Last edited: Jan 9, 2020
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  2. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 711: 01/09/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and talked, he continued to be full of gratitude and compliments toward me, of course, it feels good to hear, and I continue to get butterflies from some of his words but he seemed a bit extra yesterday, I think it was because he may have felt guilty from earlier in the evening when I ended up taking down the Christmas tree decorations on my own because he was taking forever to finish his writing. He claims that is not the case, but I do notice an uptick in that sort of talk/behavior when he is in guilt or shame. Both of us seemed to have gotten into a giggly/happier mood towards the end of our talk, then we went to watch some tv and he gave me a nice foot rub - before heading to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “The Question What Is Forgiveness And Why Is It Important", in this episode, Freddy Fri answers the question, what is forgiveness and why is it important, he reminds us that it's super important to forgive but to never feel like you must restore the relationship to its previous state! Remember, to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

    This morning, we began listening to "Change Starts with You" an interview with Dhar Mann, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dhar Mann is a serial entrepreneur who has experienced the highs and lows of success, From funding millions of dollars in real estate loans at 19 to his time in the medical marijuana industry, to scaling an eight-figure cosmetics business, he has a proven ability to build companies. Most recently he has become the fastest-growing viral video creator in less than one year with over 3 billion views across Facebook, IGTV, and YouTube. Here he shares his story of shallow success, failure, rock bottom, reinvention, and finally true success. So far, we've heard them discuss where the “fake it til you make it” mentality can go wrong, the story Dhar hasn’t shared publicly about his biggest failures, why your reputation is worth more than money, what happens when you accept that you are the problem and why you must be in the right mindset to take advantage of opportunities. So far we like it and it interested us right away, unlike yesterday's one.

    Hopefully today we will get a chance to start our first lesson/class of Financial Peace University and it will be the beginning of the end of our life, living in debt and paycheck to paycheck, I am so happy and excited that Wade wants to do it with me... this would have never been the case two years ago.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No major triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How To Forgive And Move Forward


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  3. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 712: 01/10/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Errands with Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me a lovely back rub and we spoke for a bit about how he would like to contribute to the recovery community - perhaps through videos, groups, etc., he would like to inspire others who are just starting out, help where he can and just do more. I told him I would support him and help him in any way that I can. All that I ask is to keep it off of places where his family could catch wind of it, so it does not come raining down on us from them and then eventually my parents finding out too - I am not ready for that. Afterward, he continued spoiling me with a foot rub, he really knows the key to my heart LOL

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Fighting For Your Life When All You Want To Do Is Give Up", in this episode, we have a very inspiring message about fighting for your life against all the things that make you want to give up. Remember, the Universe responds to the man or woman who refuses to be denied.

    This morning, we finished listening to "Change Starts with You" an interview with Dhar Mann, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dhar Mann is a serial entrepreneur who has experienced the highs and lows of success. During the rest of this conversation, Dhar discusses why he waited so long to come back on social media and how to stay positive while building your brand and content when no one is watching. We got quite a bit done today, stopped by the pet shop, laundry was done, ran an errand at Costco and there were a few triggers there, but I managed them. Then Wade and I watched lesson 01 of Financial Peace University and looked through/worked on our budget [app] together, both of us feel good about this process and I hope this is the push/change we both needed and needed to pursue together, to finally get out of debt. We are in a different place these days when it comes to our relationship, so I think things will be different on this front too.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Enjoyed lesson one of budgeting with Wade.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Motivational Speech Compilation


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  4. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 713: 01/11/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Slow Mornings.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't talk, we watched the movie "Lost in Space" since we finished watching the TV show of it. Both of them were different, with some slight similar elements. He gave me a nice foot rub too, then we went to bed a little early... for some fun and then sleep.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why You Must Stop Constantly Worrying About What Others Think Of You", in this episode, we hear why you must stop constantly worrying about what others think of you. Don't let other people's opinions distort your reality, be true to yourself, be bold in pursuing your dreams and be unapologetically you! Do not allow other people's opinions of your lifestyle affect you. It is your life to chose how you live it. Remember, the darkest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.

    This morning, I finished listening to "The Power Of The Infinite Mindset" an interview with Simon Sinek, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Wade joined me for a little while we sorted the laundry and listened as well, but he is going to relisten to the whole thing on his own later. Simon is a business consultant, author, and motivational speaker. He teaches leaders and organizations how to inspire people. In this interview, Simon talks about his journey and why creating a great work environment is so important to him. He also discusses the Infinite Game and why it’s a process that will reap great benefits. During this interview, they discuss how to avoid sustained stress in business, why you should be inspired to go to work, Simon’s definition of a leader, how to build your self-confidence, and why the Infinite Mind is vital to our future success.

    Excited about working on this budget thing with Wade, pumped about it actually. I even found a free event to do with the kiddos today at Barnes and Noble, keyword being free! hoping there won't be any triggers there and it will be a nice, fun and relaxing event - for everyone.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Enjoyed being lazy today, and I felt no shame about it.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Watch This If You Constantly Worry About What Others Think


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

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  5. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 714: 01/12/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and he spoke to me about his feelings toward me and wanted to express that he understands that sometimes it may feel overwhelming for me or seem like he is overdoing it for reasons... with something more behind it, like to butter me up. But, he says it is coming from a straight forward, and honest place with nothing else behind it. That after the cruise, he also felt a shift, just as I did, he feels closer to me and so much more grateful and lucky for where we are, that he can not help himself and expresses those thoughts as they pop in his head. Then we watched some tv before he left for work and I went to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Get Back On Track When You're In Need Of A Mental Adjustment", in this episode, Brendon Burchard talks with us about how to get back on track when you need to make a shift to a more positive mindset. Remember, if you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree.

    This morning, the erratic weather pattern continued, but it was over 65 degrees so we walked locally. During our walk, we listened to "The Real Secret to a Healthy Mind and Body" an interview with Aaron Alexander, on Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Aaron is a manual therapist and movement coach that knows better health is inseparable from deep healing. As a result, he helps people align their mind, body, environment, posture, and movement, achieving incredible results. Here he details exactly how to change a multitude of small aspects of your life to become physically and mentally healthier. During their discussion, they talked about how body language, posture, and dance affect the brain, how music causes physical and emotional state change, how changing your facial expression changes your emotions, he talks about some of the “diseases of affluence” like sitting too much, and he also strongly advocates spending some time each day hanging, staring and being in nature. Then we decided that this interview/content just wasn't doing it for us, it wasn't 'impacting' us, so we stopped listening.

    After we got home, I jumped in the shower, when I came out Wade had prepared me breakfast and presented in a way that they would in a restaurant, it was so thoughtful and cute. I was thankful that he spent time cooking and putting it together for me, I appreciate it. After he went to sleep, my parents stayed another full two hours and my dad kept talking about used cars and all of the things he clearly knows (and I/we do not!) about finances, how Dave Ramsey is clearly a fraud and how he knows better, etc. It was annoying, especially since I had just heard all of those same points, from him, last night, sigh.

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Sharing tender kisses and hugs with my little one, she is still into cuddles aha.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    BAD DAY? 3 Mindset Tricks to Get Positivity Back


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 715: 01/13/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Breakfast by Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't talk, we went straight to watching TV and my fav: foot rub! it's been every day, but I still can not get used to it lol. It's so nice to be in the place we are at these days, that no matter how triggered I am, we can still get back to this peaceful place. Then he went to work and I went to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To More Effectively Deal With Difficult People", in this episode, we get some excellent tips on how to deal with difficult people more effectively. Remember, the less you respond to difficult people the more peaceful your life will become.

    This morning, I listened to "Why Terrifying Self-Discovery Is the Only Way to Succeed" a Mindvalley talk with Tom Bilyeu. It was quite uplifting and inspiring, on how - no matter where you are at today, tomorrow can be different, so never give up hope and never give up on yourself. Tom shares his gritty, unglamorous success story. How his journey started with a whirl-wind adventure to eventually end up in success. 15 years after battling with depression, having his only reason for getting out of bed in the morning being his girlfriend's lunch break, he learned the art of growth-mindset and becoming ANTIfragile, and here he explains how he did it through terrifying self-discovery that may motivate you to want to confront who you really are. Then, Wade and I did our weekly grocery run, our adjusted one for this off week - the goal for this week was under $50.00 and we did it! on the way to the supermarket, he told me about a job he had to handle tonight, where there was a suicidal woman at the scene, who was in her mid to late twenties and completely naked. He told me he did not get triggered and he did not ogle her, he assessed the situation and became self-aware, then the urgency of the scene and kept his mind worried about keeping this woman from jumping, rather than having an urge to objectify her. He said after they got her safe and secure, got EMS to take her to a hospital, he sat down and rationalized the situation to himself and realized that he did not have the urge to objectify her, something he would have been excited to do a few years back, instead he humanized her and felt sorry for her, wondered if she was mentally ill, etc. He also said he didn't even think twice about whether to tell me or not, which I am happy about, well that and the fact that it didn't trigger him. Then we talked about a few other things, like how he was happy about something he picked up on... me constantly referring to getting 'us' out of debt, working on 'our' financial goals, etc - which gives him more hope for our future, that I'm looking into our future as us, not just worried about myself. When we came home and before he went to bed - he made me a yummy salad.

    Tonight, he is going to try a Borscht recipe in the Instant Pot, I'm excited for how it will turn out!

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Heard Wade's story and did not get triggered.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How to Deal with Difficult People | Jay Johnson


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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  7. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 716: 01/14/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Photoshop.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and spoke for a bit. Wade needed to decompress because he had a headache from my dad and our eldest and her antics.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why Attitude Is Everything", in this episode, Jim Rohn explains very clearly why attitude is everything. Remember, a bad attitude is like a flat tire, if you don't change it you'll never go anywhere.

    This morning, I listened to a few Dave Ramsey videos, one was really informative, it was his explanation and breakdown of whole life insurance versus term life insurance, "Why Is Term Insurance Better Than Whole Life Insurance?". I think everyone here should definitely listen to it, I never knew whatever funds you put into whole life insurance vanish if you die before taking it out, what a fraud! Wade had to get our car inspection done, the weather was iffy and my cough returned with a vengeance last night and continued on this morning, so I got situated to stay home and not go for my walk. Then, Wade calls and tells me to get ready to go, I mentioned to him about my coughing, that we wouldn't be able to talk because I'd need to cover my mouth, etc., and that I had already gotten comfortable and situated myself -for staying home- that I was working on my tearsheets, but he throws out there "so what, get dressed, no excuses!" or something like that. I'm sure his intent was not malicious, but what he said definitely threw me into shame and guilt, so I got dressed and ready to go on the walk, even though I really did not want to at this point, it was easier to just do it because the shame of not going after his remarks would have eaten me alive. We spoke about it, he told me that it was not his intent, that he was joking and that he thought I wanted to walk. Then, I [re]explained why I was under the impression we weren't walking today, and after I broke down/reminded him of stuff I did mention to him before - how I need my morning balance to remain intact (one way or another) that when it comes to my morning routine, I like things done, in order - one way if the result is to go out or another way if it is to stay home; even if it seems odd to him or for anyone else - he apologized and seemed like he understood why his comments threw me into shame and guilt. Anyhow, during our walk, we decided to move on and began listening to "He Explains in 51 Seconds Everything That's Holding You Back" an interview with Les Brown, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Les Brown is a Legendary motivational speaker who has overcome the most profound challenges. Over the course of his incredible career, he went from being labeled mentally retarded and working menial jobs to inspiring audiences of up to 80,000 people at a time. Here he shares the truth about how everyone has to fail their way to success. He also details his strategies for improving his mindset, explains exactly how he transformed the story he tells himself about himself and talks about how to deal with negative thoughts and negative people. So far, we heard them discuss how life is a battle for territory, he discusses his battle with cancer, which he has been winning for over 20 years, how he changed his beliefs and the stories he told himself about himself, how his experience with prejudice, and how he learned to have hope, how the dominant culture dismantles people’s creativity and sense of self and he also strongly advocates embracing your own uniqueness.

    By the time we were going home, I had calmed down a little bit and he apologized one last time. My mood got better when we paid a total for .40 cents for a treasure trove of snacks at CVS. At home, he made some food and we sat down to start lesson two of Financial Peace University, pausing and sharing some thoughts in between. We didn't finish because he wanted to go take a nap, but we will finish tonight. Dave Ramsey is a really smart guy, he is a bit blunt, maybe over the top but he knows what he is talking about. The only thing Wade and I don't really enjoy is the nonstop references to God and religion, but we have to look past all that because we are swimming in debt and both of us have hit the point where we have had enough and are not going to live like this anymore.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I was about to get out of my own head and not stay in my shame/anger.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING


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    [​IMG]
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    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 717: 01/15/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade gave me a nice back rub and we spoke during. We discussed our plan of action after listening to lesson two of Dave Ramsey's FPU. How we plan on making payments, implementing the snowball method and etc. Then we talked about feeling disconnected earlier in the day and then feeling better and more connected later, after getting excited about working on even more changes together - both relationship-wise and financial.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Practical And Useful Tips On How To Change Your World", in this episode, Admiral William McRaven provides some practical and useful tips on how to change your world. Remember, people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

    This morning, we finished listening to "He Explains in 51 Seconds Everything That's Holding You Back" an interview with Les Brown, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Les Brown is a Legendary motivational speaker, as we finished up this interview they discussed how not to live the life that was given to you by your circumstances, he strongly recommends reading, changing your social circle, and finding a mentor, he makes some surprising book recommendations, Les talks about holding negative thoughts in check, he shares his strategy for continuously improving his mindset, and talks about the impact his mother had on his life and advocates listening, telling stories, and orchestrating an experience. After this one, since we still had some time, we began listening to our next one "How To Improve Your Mood" an interview with Doctor Daniel Amen, with Jay Shetty. Only a few minutes in and we are already excited about this one, we loved his interview with Tom before, so I'm sure this one will be just as mind-blowing, pun intended... Dr. Amen is a psychiatrist and brain expert.

    Later today Wade has to pull a double shift, which sucks for me because I like his company in the evenings, especially after the girls are in bed - it's our time to talk, connect and watch shows together. It will feel out of sync, but "work is work" and all that crap, blah blah. :rolleyes: Can't wait for his days off to begin...

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: It was great/exciting learning more about insurance with Wade today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Admiral McRaven Leaves the Audience SPEECHLESS


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  9. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 718: 01/16/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Saving money!

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade had to work a double, so he wasn't really home during the evening/night. However, my kids and parents were and omg my head as throbbing for hours. Finally, after everyone was in there corners, I finally had some alone time and continued watching Shitt's Creek. Then, Wade called me for some advice, he was done early, but it was at such a time where he didn't know if it made any sense to stop by the house or just go straight to work. I told him that perhaps it was worth it to swing by because he would be able to make himself some coffee and lunch to take to work, which means he would be saving money by not eating out. He decided to stop by, it was a pleasant treat, we got to chat for a bit but when he got home, something felt off about his mood, he didn't seem as uplifted as he normally gets and didn't greet me with a hug, I couldn't put my finger on it, maybe it was all in my head and he was just tired. Oh and then I saw a mouse!! run by ugh... so now there is that.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Stop Complaining: Immediately Change Your Life For The Better", in this episode, we hear why you must stop complaining and start taking action instead. Remember, stop complaining if for no other reason than the more you complain the more unhappy you become.

    This morning, we went to Home Depot to get a mousetrap... boo... during our time running our errand we spoke about his night, my night and some thoughts he had on changing things up in his career. I told him my concerns/fears, which prompted a discussion about how certain he is with where he is at in his life and how he feels about me. He said although he understands how I still feel and am fearful of things he knows his truth and is pretty certain about it... I wish I could say the same, I would love it but it seems so impossible. I told him that I think a lot of it stems from feeling like perhaps I was never really his 'prime type' or just type from the start and he just settled. We both agreed that throughout this recovery, but especially after this last cruise, a shift did happen and we just keep falling more and more in love with each other. However, love and connection are not everything, physical attraction has to be there and in my opinion, it has to be big. He told me that he is really attracted to me, more than ever and of course it is amplified by connection, but it is definitely both. Sometimes when he speaks these days, I feel butterflies, perhaps a faint whisper in the back of mind where it all sounds so good and dreamy, I almost start believing that maybe it could be true/possible, but then when I remember the facts at hand and history, it snaps me out of it. Anyhow, then both of us start working on our life insurance rate and got it locked in and down! which will bring our February monthly budget lower!! we a working out some kinks this January, but I think within three months we will have a better and more solid plan for our budget. We're doing this together and that's both exciting and inspiring, for us both.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    "Stop Complaining! Do Something About It"


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  10. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 719: 01/17/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and decompressed, spoke for some time. Someone joined his Discord channel (for PA's) and I have one of my own for partners who are in need of support/healing (message me for an invite) and we spoke about that. Then he gave me a lovely pedicure (minus the coloring) with a massage, while we watched TV. Then we went to bed!

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Living In The Present And Making The Most Of Every Moment", in this episode, we have a fantastic message on living in the present and making the most of every moment. Remember, yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery, but today... today is a gift. And that is why it's called the present.

    This morning, we finished listening to "How To Improve Your Mood" an interview with Doctor Daniel Amen, with Jay Shetty. What an interview! after listening to Dr. Amen on Impact Theory, I began following him on social media, but this interview enlightened me even more to his wisdom. Dr. Amen is a psychiatrist, brain expert, and ten-time New York Times bestselling author. During the rest of this interview, they discuss how addiction starts and being addicted to his craft, identifying the causes of living with a damaged brain, overcoming making irrational decisions, we don't have to believe every stupid thought we have, how attachment causes suffering, you're responsible for your relationships, that you need to be suspicious of new love, you won't see things clearly for 3-4 months, how our pleasure centers are being worn out by the modern world, is purpose [knowing your 'why'] critical to happiness? what do drugs and alcohol do to our brains? and why is inspiration short-lived and how we can make it long-lasting? He thinks everyone should implement these two tiny habits to their lives, daily so that it becomes their new normal, tiny habit #1 - asking yourself is this good or bad for my brain? tiny habit #2 - start every day thinking today's going to be a great day.

    Now we are watching FPU baby step 3, together! I'm excited about doing this together. <3

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Had a potential panicky situation on the bridge, instead of getting triggered/angered I was calm and let it go.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Making The Most Out Of The Present


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  11. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 720: 01/18/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Lazy days.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we spoke throughout the day, especially as we were sorting the laundry he had just finished. I really do appreciate him doing the laundry, it is not a task I am too fond of lol. Then we relaxed as he gave me a foot rub while we watched tv. We went to bed early and ended the night with some fun.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Why You Must Deal With Challenges You Have In Your Life", in this episode, we have an inspiring message on why you must deal with challenges in your life in order to grow. Remember, the key to living a great life is embracing the challenges that come your way.

    This morning, our little one was still complaining about "neck pain", so we took her to the doctors. He believed that it was just a stiff neck and the only remedy is warm compress and Motrin, but Wade remembered that I had told him she complained that her throat hurt earlier in the week and called me in front of the doctor to confirm. Before leaving for the doctors, Wade decided to inform me that yesterday, his parents told him they might add his brother and family to our visit to their place next week, sigh, which I am not happy about at all - for a multitude of reasons, at this rate I just wish he would have just left it with them coming here for two hours and be done with it. Anyway, the doctor called me later and informed me that she actually has strep throat and will be prescribed antibiotics. I am glad I convinced Wade to take her to the doctors, he was hesitant because he thought it was just a pulled neck and would go away. I just hope the rest of us don't catch it as well, especially not our eldest, she is the worst when sick.

    Today is going to be a cold, lazy-yet tiring day with no major plans because he has to take a nap, so I will be keeping the little one busy and I'm pretty sure my parents will be stopping by too, anyway who needs plans when my mind is going to be occupied with Wade's news from earlier today.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Not shaming myself, feeling okay about a lazy day.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    THROUGH HELL


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  12. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 721: 01/19/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Cuddles from my little one.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I helped Wade work out a plan for his new goal/venture. He has decided to be a little more 'out' with his addiction and recovery. He wants to start making videos, helping other PAs on their journeys from what he has learned from his own, what has helped him, etc. He got inspired by all of the feedback and thanks he has been getting just from his NoFap journal and he wants to contribute more by helping others. I support him in this 100% and will help him in any way that I can. It felt so good to see how excited he was about all this, quite inspiring. There's a lot of work to be done, growth won't be quick and it will be a learning curve for us both, but I think - what he is trying to achieve, it is achievable and I know it will be successful because it is something he is passionate about.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Take Control Of Your Life When You're Feeling Stuck", in this episode, Mel Robbins talks with us about how to take control of your life when you're feeling stuck. Remember, the first step to getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are.

    This morning, I spent with my little gal pal, poor baby is sick with strep throat and on antibiotics. So, we played dolls, colored, even did some homework (she enjoyed it lol) and watched Aladdin and the King of Thieves. She wanted to go outside, but she can not since strep is contagious. After Wade wakes up, we will do our weekly grocery run and play a little Pokemon Go (it's community day). Perhaps we will watch/listen to something along the way or talk about his night. I'm still feeling run down myself, so between entertaining the little one and comforting her all morning, then my dad's procedure tomorrow, I'm wearing myself thin... putting my own self-care on the back burner., so I'm hoping there won't be any triggers, that hit won't be taken well internally at the moment.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Feeling down because of my little one being sick, but still able to be present and play with her.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    The Advice Most of Us Need To Hear


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  13. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 722: 01/20/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Wade.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we spent most of the evening watching these hilarious videos called "Teens React" and "Do Teens know their Parents Favorite", which made us feel super old lmao. Anyway, it was fun, light and refreshing. Some of the clips even gave us some nice movie night ideas. Then we took a break and went to talk on the bed for a bit, we talked about some of my triggers from earlier in the day at the supermarket. He told me that he did notice a few that he would have ogled in the past, but these days they do nothing for him. We had a whole discussion about it, how and why he only wants me and that I always was a prime for him, he just lost sight of it - look, I want to believe him, but it is still difficult to get past everything that is deep-seated within me. Then we went back to watching those clips to lighten the mood back up, it was nice.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Persistence Pays Off If You Never Give Up", in this episode, Les Brown delivers a great lesson on how persistence pays off if you refuse to quit. Remember, success is not the absence of failure, it is the persistence through it.

    This morning, Wade was able to leave work early and got to bed, because he was doing me a favor in the AM, which I am super grateful for. He's taking my dad to his procedure, so I wouldn't have to deal with that extra stress and anxiety, on top of the worrying about the process itself. He even found a few minutes to make me some breakfast, where has this guy been for so many years. While he is there with my dad, I have been spending the morning with my little one and my mom. A lot of noise, which I am not a fan of, but I rather see her act this way, then crying and in pain. Later on, I plan to make some good old chicken soup for the family... and continue my lazy day. The last few days, I've felt like due to illness, weather, money (we can't drive to the mall as much), and some unforeseen events, my self-care (walks in particular) have really been put on the back burner, I feel the depression slowly taking over me and I think it's beginning to affect my overall mood, I'm trying to push it away, but it's becoming more and more difficult to do - which sucks, I'm just feeling a bit more down, kind of how I used to feel in the past - a sensation of 'blah'.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Pushing through my anxiety and remaining present.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    IT'S TIME TO GET OVER IT!


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 723: 01/21/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Sleep.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we again watched some of those fun teens react videos, along with our eldest and had her playing along, it was fun and we might make it a 'thing' if that is something she is willing to do with us LOL. Then we laid in bed and talked about our day(s), I again thanked him for handling everything with my father, I really do appreciate it so much. He thanked me for making dinner, I am just happy everyone liked it; especially our resident cook and it's going to last a few days. We spoke a little about what I wrote in my journal about feeling depressed and lacking in my self-care, then he began promising that no matter what tomorrow we would go walking, under any circumstance, I told him not to over-promise because 'you just never know' and I am not a fan of guarantees in uncertain or unpredictable situations, like his job, but he continued with his "trust me, I will make it happen no matter what", so I shrugged and then we went and watched some tv before he headed to work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Never Complain: Taking Full Responsibility For Your Own Life", in this episode, we hear a message on why you should never complain about anything ever again because the fault lays with you. Remember, there's nothing you can't accomplish in life with the right amount of work.

    This morning, I couldn't go walking again... Wade got held up at work, then I was willing to go and get frostbite until my parents reminded me they needed their car this morning. Wade told me he hated disappointing me and he was full of guilt and shame about the whole thing. I told him that I wasn't disappointed in him, I don't feel like he let me down - because I know his job is unpredictable, what I don't want happening anymore - is him making promises, that he does not know he can keep - especially not so persistently. That's what frustrated me, him telling me over and over "that I will make it happen, don't worry" last night when in reality, he doesn't know because as a cop, anything can suddenly come up. So of course, something did end up coming up, now he is full of shame and guilt - why? because he oversold a promise that he could never guarantee from the start, so I told him - don't do that anymore and especially don't continue to tell them "trust me, I'll make sure" after I tell you to stop because you just never know. Anyhow, I did some cardio/zumba at home and it just wasn't the same as my morning walk, I don't know why and what about the walks just give me that calm, peace of mind and balance - but it does. I'm still feeling down, sort of how I use to feel many years ago, I am trying to fight through it, push it down when I can but I hope it doesn't backfire on me, meaning where I'm back to pretending instead of being really happy and present. I am so happy for Wade, he is 8 days shy of hitting his two year recovery anniversary and I a truly happy about that and all that he has accomplished, achieved and excited for what is to come for him. For myself though, and even hate typing this but I feel like I'm going in reverse, I'm not progressing in my healing - at least I don't feel that way, because the last few days, what I've been feeling and the thoughts I've been having are very similar to how they were before I began any self-care and making changes and that scares me - I don't feel like myself right now, I feel like my old self and that's not where I wanted to be, ever again.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Took the unforeseen circumstances in stride instead of anger.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    When All Hope Is Lost Motivational Video


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  15. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 724: 01/22/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we laid in bed and talked until he had to go to work, it's been a while since we spoke for the entire night. We spoke about some random stuff and then we got to the nitty-gritty... that I've been feeling depressed lately. I got vulnerable and told him everything that was on my mind - that I was feeling out of sync, out of balance and more like the old me. A lot of my fears have been creeping up in my head too and we talked about that, his reality vs mine. I think he understands where I am coming from, but he has his own set of 'truths' and I don't necessarily believe them to be the facts at hand. However, talking about it all - getting it all out there - did feel good.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Life-Changing Tips About The Importance Of Taking Action", in this episode, Freddy Fri talked about the importance of taking action as you work toward achieving your goals. Remember, taking focused and intentional action is the foundational key to all success.

    This morning, we actually walked!! it was freezing again so we used today as our one trip to the mall (per week) to save on mileage/gas and tolls and walked. Just the car ride there already made me feel like I was slowly getting back on track. We began listening to "Perfectly Hidden Depression" an interview with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dr. Rutherford has been a psychologist in private practice for over twenty-five years. She’s the author of “Perfectly Hidden Depression”, and hosts a weekly podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, where she offers compassionate common-sense directions, ideas, and goals toward the changes listeners want to make in healing. So far, we've heard about Dr. Margaret’s journey through her own shame that has brought her to the work she does today and what Dr, Margaret believes therapy can pinpoint in people and why it is integral to embracing vulnerability. We were pausing a lot, especially after she brought up fear and shame. We talked about her point that people oftentimes who seek out perfection are really sitting in depression because perfection does not exist... how I am proof of that. Then we went back and forth about my thoughts and feelings, why I feel the way that I do about gaining weight and how much more it means than just 'gaining a little weight'. I love him to death, he keeps arguing his points of how beautiful he finds me and how he only thinks about me these days and there are moments where I get those butterflies and begin to believe that maybe he really does only want me these days, but then as soon as someone triggers me - I remind myself, yeah, ok, NOW THAT'S his prime type, and that's not me at all, I just can not compete with those women, especially not if I am on the physical decline (aging and weight gain) - it's impossible for him to only have eyes for me when his preferences have always been someone that looks like 'that' aka 'prime type'. It's all so complicated and depressing. Although finally walking made me feel a lot better and more in balance.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: My mood felt a little better today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    Take Action Right Now


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  16. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 725: 01/23/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we watched some TV, he gave me a lovely foot rub and then I headed off to bed. By the end of the day, I felt content, something I hadn't felt for a bit, so that felt good.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “How To Bounce Back From Failure", in this episode, we get some great tips on how to Bounce Back From Failure. The goal is to keep going forward, take risks but with full calculation and learn to have and live in GRATITUDE. Remember, failure is the pathway that leads to success.

    This morning, during our walk, we actually did not listen to anything, we spent the entire time just talking about his night, which led to a long and full conversation about work and why morale is so awful at most workplaces. How most bosses, upper management, etc are only looking out for themselves, how they lack empathy and us 'little guys' never feel like they have our backs. It was a good and lively discussion, lasted our entire walk. Then we did some shopkicking, which was fun too - it's been a while lol. Then, on the car ride back we finished listening to "Perfectly Hidden Depression" an interview with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Dr. Rutherford has been a psychologist in private practice for over twenty-five years. She’s the author of “Perfectly Hidden Depression”, and hosts a weekly podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, where she offers compassionate common-sense directions, ideas, and goals toward the changes listeners want to make in healing. In conclusion, we heard them continue to discuss what it means to be a perfectionist and how it coincides with being “great,” and the complexity of the human condition on what we might require to start our healing process.

    Overall, this morning/day was lighthearted and good. It really helped my mood, if only my raging headache would go away too - that would top things off.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today! my mood was better too.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    7 Minutes to Start Your Day Right!


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  17. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 726: 01/24/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he decided to give me an all-star treatment, he helped me out by coloring my hair, blow-drying it and making it look fabulous. He also gave me a back and foot rub, which felt amazing, even though I told him it was fine because he did my hair, I didn't want to wear him out lol, but he insisted. We watched some TV and called it a night after.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Getting Over Mistakes Can Be Hard Here's How To Make It Easier", in this episode, we have some great tips and information that will help you with getting over mistakes. Remember, self-awareness doesn't stop you from making mistakes, it allows you to learn from them.

    This morning, we began listening to "Change Your Life by Changing Your Thought Process" an interview with Brendon Burchard, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Brendon Burchard is a Life coach to billionaire and one of the greatest influencers of all time, he knows exactly how to make an impact. We didn't get too far into it, but so far we've heard him share his story of being suicidal, then being in a nearly fatal accident, describe becoming obsessive about learning leadership and psychology and explains how your life is determined by each decision you make, every day. Then we began talking about mindsets and how Wade believes that even I can, at some point start talking myself down/out of triggers and fears, all I have to do is start believing that what he is saying, about how he sees me now is possible. We had a whole back and forth about it, where I explained how my triggers, PTSD and thoughts worked, that it is all layered and difficult to control or think straight when in the heat of the moment, it was a great and vulnerable discussion for both of us.

    Today marks 16 years since our first date, soon we'll be at 14 years married. Time truly flew by and I am happy that finally, the last two years have been happy and worthwhile they have been our first connected, authentic and present years together. <3

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Minor trigger on our walk and by Dunkin' but I tried to move past them quickly.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    How To Get Over Your Past Mistakes


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  18. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

    2,419
    8,833
    143
    Have you ever had EMDR therapy/treatment? I was diagnosed with PTSD a little over 5 years ago. I was seeing a traditional therapist and after maybe 6 months of "regular" therapy, we did EMDR. It was the most instantaneous healing I've ever experienced. So much so I think of it more as a spiritual experience. And as a weird kicker, from that moment on I stopped chewing on the inside of my cheek, a daily habit I'd had since I was a kid that I'd do when deep in thought. I think what the EMDR did was help me process some stuff that I was "stuck" on, stuff that would just loop when I thought about it. That loop would cause me to ruminate and ruminate, covering the same ground over and over, looking for a solution. I think the cheek chewing was a manifestation of me literally "digging" into myself trying to figure things out.

    Oh, hi, by the way. I'm Adam. I'm weird. :)
     
    Psalm27:1my light and Jagliana like this.
  19. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    Hey Adam ;-) we're all weird! haha

    I have heard of EMDR, but I have not gone through anything like that (yet). Oddly enough, I sometimes chew on my cheek too, hmm. I will look into it some more and see what's available in our area and if it's covered by insurance. I've been trying to teach myself to manage my triggers, and I have been with the mild/minor ones, but the big ones, I see red.
     
  20. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 727: 01/25/2019

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van der Kolk
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Family Time.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I spent the evening alone, Wade had overtime. Once I finally got both girls in bed, I sat down and just watched some tv. Wade got home late, he stayed up a little and told me about his time at work. He mentioned having a slip, but also that a lot of guys joined his Discord channel, I wasn't surprised though, as I posted his link around the forums. I know how much he wants to help other PA's, so I want to support him in any way that I can.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to “Rules For Success In Life", in this episode, Ed Mylett talks about his rules for success in life and business. Remember, success in life requires that you remember just 2 simple rules. Rule #1 is never quit, and rule #2 is always remember rule #1.

    This morning, Wade spoke to the guys in his Discord. I tried to keep the little distracted, painted her nails and watched YouTube with her. I also worked on some portfolio items and other design stuff. Soon, we'll be heading out for the day to go visit my in-laws, the weather is crappy, so I'm hoping we won't be stuck in traffic too long. I hope there won't be any issues today, fingers crossed!

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check in with and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for almost two years now, has created a dedicated Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: How excited I feel for Wade for his new mission.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Motivational
    "The COMFORTABLE Road Will NEVER Lead You to SUCCESS!" | Ed Mylett


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 |

    ---------------------------------------------------
     

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