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I keep relapsing. Is porn addiction linked to trauma?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kai101, Jul 31, 2018.

  1. Kai101

    Kai101 Fapstronaut

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    For the past 2 weeks, I have tried and failed to stop watching porn. I've been masturbating excessively to where I have pain. I cant seem to fight the urges to watch porn. It is ruining my self esteem and my life. I need advice on how to overcome urges, what you did to stop watching porn, and just general motivation, etc. When I was on nofap a month ago, I made it 178 days without masturbating. I have since tried to masturbate without porn, which was working great. But then if course porn came onto the equation and I'm back at square one. Here's some backstory on my addiction. My parents got divorced when I was in 3rd grade, and it was and still is deeply traumatic for me. My dad and his mom used to emotionally and psychologically abuse me, and they still do. Needless to say, I dont have a good relationship with my dad. I developed severe anxiety, especially social anxiety. I also developed a stutter that makes things even worse. I found out about porn shortly after and used it to cope. I have been addicted to porn since I was 9 years old. I cant stand it anymore. I wany a better life for myself. Any help or opinions would be greatly appreciated.
     
    JJackson likes this.
  2. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Kai101 likes this.
  3. BringItUp

    BringItUp Fapstronaut

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    good video. sounds so funny with an indian accent especially when he says "wack off"
     
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  4. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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    Everything sounds funny in any accent, all depends on where you live. Japanese accents are fucking gold to me!
     
  5. slink123456

    slink123456 Fapstronaut

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    Yes! Absolutely. You view porn as a result of your abuse. Your story is just like mine.

    The only way to deal with your addiction is by removing the root of the problem first. Which means, it’s very unlikely you’ll quit until you know you are away from your dad and her mom. You would just end up relapsing when your put back into the same stressful situation, and but then you would know porn is there as a relief.

    I have been mentally, physically and emotionally abused by my mom for the last 10 years. That was why I watched porn. It made me feel better (or so I thought). My mom made all kinds of threats, would interrupt me in my sleep, she would yell, I would get no form of peace. Ironically, she had an addiction herself, to alcohol. 3 weeks ago, she threw me out of the house and told me to ‘find somewhere cheaper to live’. So I did, and it was a blessing in disguise, because now I can suddenly focus on no PMO, and be able to focus fully on the recovery, and not relapse because of sudden stress. Addiction and abuse come together hand in hand.

    So, that is what I would do if I were in your shoes. Try and disconnect somehow from the negative people in your life. It’s only until then, that you’ll find more inner peace and as a result, you’ll be able to put 100% of your energy into no PMO. If you want to quit porn for good, that is what you must do.

    Good luck my friend!
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
    Kai101 likes this.

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