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There are are plenty of people who use those strategies, and recommend them to others. But I have never talked to one single person who used "distraction activities" as their sole or primary porn-abstinence strategy who actually wrnt porn free long term. Everyone I've heard talk about them are the people stuck in relapse for years on end.

 

@MindfulAchilles , thank you for sharing your experience.
I do not think "distraction activities" are bad in and of themselves. They can work to help keep us from relapse. Especially for someone who is newly working to get porn free, then can be particularly helpful. Here is my problem with them though. A lot of people on NoFap like to recommend distractions and hobbies as the "holy grail" of porn-abstinence. Often times they do this at the behest of actually having a porn-recovery plan. "Distraction" is not going to create long term porn abstinence. Period. You cannot sustain distractions or hobbies as an organic and long term lifestyle. It does not work. Inevitably you will find yourself in a scenario where your particular distraction is not available, and then you will relapse. Here is a wuestion for you. Are you going to be taking cold showers for the rest of your life? Is that sustainable? What happens when you are having hard core cravings and can't take a shower, or read a book, or leave a situation? It's inevitable. The long term solution to porn-addiction is building character. Period. And that starts with building a solid plan.

 

So, what are you doing to change this?

 

@FindingAName , obviously you did not read my post with thoughtful intent, or you would not be responding in such a childish manner. "Back off". Really? You disagree with my premise so you are using infantile hostility to respond to what you do not like (and obviously lack lucid comprehension of). Consider reading more closely what is being said before you respond like this next time.

 

@MindfulAchilles , yes I agree that "planned distraction activities" can help to take your focus off of temptation to look at porn. And yes, the action of doing so can help build a certain type (self-control) of character over time. Which is a good thing. But I also think they are self-limiting. Aside from self-control, I don't think you are investing in actively building your character. Why not choose habits that are going to actively build your character? Also, as already mentioned. Distraction activity is not long-term sustainable. Why not build the habits now that you are going to be able to practice for the rest of your life?
And you are right, I am not proposing building character from decision alone, it is through specific action, but specific actions.
Firstly, I almost always recommend to guys to create a why statement and an 8 step recovery plan if they want to go porn free. Within that recovery plan is " daily self-care habits". More specifically what i personally like to do is; "The Miracle Morning" for my daily routine. @MindfulAchilles , questions?

 

Lol. Good to see that you have jokes.

 

@MindfulAchilles , I will elaborate on what I already eluded to which is that I practice The Miracle Morning, which is a daily routine that I practice. The first thing I do when I wake up is spend 10 minutes reading, 20 minutes writing, 10 minutes practicing gratitude, 10 minutes in meditation, 10 minutes (or more) of exercise, 10 minutes of visualization, 10 minutes of of self-affirmation.

These are all the "specific" activities I participate in that actively build my character. Some of these are what others are practicing for their self care. But I think most do not have a strong and consistent daily practice.

Here is my "why" and "life mission statement":

Why statement; "I am moving forward with a clear mind, and choosing to be a lucid and critical thinker."


Supporting statement; "Lucid and critical thinking is a key to building my successful present and future."


Life Mission Statement: "To use my gifts of intelligence, writing, articulation, creativity, and humor to achieve my best life, and influence others to do the same."

The new behaviors I'm embracing tie in directly with my daily routine, as my daily routine is building the character I need to daily pursue my active goals.

And can you pls elaborate on the statement; "How are you not limiting yourself by using them.......deciding that nobody else but you....." ?

 

Sorry to hear. What are you going to do to change that this time around?

 

http://www.miraclemorning.com/

 

@MindfulAchilles , I appreciate the dialogue. And we do agree on some points. Although I think you are misinterpreting a number of points I am making.
Let's not mince words about semantics. Distraction by definition has to do with being "amused, entertained, or diverted from." And that is not what I am advocating. I am not recommending self-care activities for the purpose of abstaining from Porn, but for the purpose of becoming a better human being. A "better human being" by nature does not choose to look at porn because they have the character to sustain that choice. Abstinence follows the matured character. I believe that is a different approach to sobriety.
Where are you getting that; "most people work the same way, with different approaches and get the same results."?

Most people in this community are not getting long term sobriety, and what they are doing is not working well. Who are these people that you are purporting that focus on "distraction activities" that go porn free long term?
Also, it's extremely presumptuous to make the statement that I'm espousing that; "my methods work and nobody else's does." This is nothing more than a reductio ad absurdism.

Not "all roads" lead to sobriety. This is true with any addiction. If it were not true, then everyone could just go Lone Ranger in whatever capacity they choose in order to gain abstinence. There would be no need for a community of people with a similar struggle, and no need for universal tools that work for going porn free. I am using some universal principles. I have never said; "My way is the only way." But there is a more narrow path that those of us who go porn free choose to follow, and yes, it does include certain principles.

But most of the people who approach porn-abstinence without a strong plan, especially those who have a deeper issue do not go porn free. So, I am writing my messages with those people in mind.
Also, most of these people who go around recommending "distraction activity" not only have little to no length of abstinence, but they do not have a plan aside from distractions.

And you did not answer my questions about "what do you do when in the heat of temptation and no distraction activities are available?" Guys are confronted with this all of the time and end up back in the relapse loop.