1000 Days of No PMO

Friends, peace,

This entry is meant to cover in detail the 11th consecutive 90 day streak (which would be marked at DAY 990).

Because I am late to the posting, I decided to also commemorate DAY 1000 in the title itself--but the analysis will definitely focus on the 90 day period.

As usual, here are some links to add context to my journey:

My Journal
90 Days of No PMO Success Story
180 Days of No PMO Success Story
365 Days of No PMO Success Story
450 Days of No PMO Success Story
540 Days of No PMO Success Story
630 Days of No PMO Success Story
720 Days of No PMO Success Story
810 Days of No PMO Success Story
900 Days of No PMO Success Story

Honestly, at this point, I cannot remember much of this journey. I vaguely suspect that, by & by, it was a time marked by nothing in particular. At worst, perhaps a week or two of harder days--but more likely, days of boredom & loneliness than anything else.

---

Upon review, it does seem like my time was aptly remembered. I forgot some of the events (& there were actually a lot of unique events, travels, & friends in this period of time that are actually worth remembering)--but the overall feeling as described was close to the mark.

It seemed to be a time with heavier dosages of sadness, loneliness, & easier annoyance. Among the top issues that were unique to this time or just started included...

-lots of roommate issues (getting left out on the regular; him changing his schedule so that it clashed with mine on the regular; his general loudness taking an increase in volume)

-Temptations to "normal" things. It seemed like a peak year for short-short fashion for men, & this was a terrible bane & trial for me (given my SSA).

Despite these lows, I tend to think that I was pretty "flatline" (not in NoFap terminology but if you were to graph my overall mood) this time around. There were not really many highs or lows. It was somewhere in-between, & it seemed dry.

Much of my time focused on work. Other periods of my time felt restless (again, see roommate issue--I might return home but not wish to be home or thus feel like I did not have rest in my own space).

The times in the chapel, overall, seemed to likewise continue a downward trend. I still maintained my discipline, but the holy hour was likely more of a 40-50 minute thing prior to Mass. I have been remedying this lately--but I need to definitely get my act together.

I think that my writing has also become more terse. I have been trying to spend less time online. This can give a false impression of not being as successful in NoFap or perhaps not as deep. But upon review, it does seem that I did have deep moments of prayer & reflection...these simply did not make it into the Journal.

It is a shame because I cannot revisit these memories...but then again, there are pros & cons to these things. And one of the goals of NoFap is to "regain one's life". Which would mean less posting &c. in the long run.

Likewise, there were periods of great discipline. I noted a solid streak of prayer times wherein I was focused & more-or-less took command of myself & stamped out my own distractions. This is a hopeful note--& I need to remember it--for lately these days, I have been more discouraged, & discouragement can make it harder to kill off the thoughts.

Especially in the tail-end of this 90-day streak, there was a kind of renewal in prayer & discipline. I initiated an evening chapel time to make up for shorter mornings, & I likewise said some of the minor hours of the Divine Office. There was also a greater emphasis on going to the sacrament of Confession with greater frequency. So, again, there is something good here, despite the general lonely feeling that lingers.

Lastly, as far as I can tell: I started a new workout routine that is much harder than what I had done before--& at least two people (not including myself in that number) have commented on the change. I think that I see the change--& I at least can definitely see the change in the workouts that I can actually achieve.

But I suppose that is that.

In summary, it was a kind of lonely & desert-like 90 days. It seemed full of stressors & boring situations. But...even so, I carry on.

As usual, if you have questions, please let me know.

Thanks,
God bless,
A Modern Miroku

 

@Frassvelli Thanks! It always means a lot to hear words of encouragement from you.
Pray for me!

God bless,
AMM

 

@Sphinx12- Your words are too kind. Thank you for stopping by!

God bless,
AMM

 

Do you have any questions in particular? That would help me narrow in & provide more concrete & useful information (coloured, of course, by my own experiences).

For me, it has been a lot of trial & error. And patience. And, to be fair, suffering. There is a mental, spiritual, emotional, & physical pain in this warfare.
Other things...
Learning from failures.
Having solid, in-real-life accountability & transparency
Striving after virtue (in the classical sense)
Prayer Prayer Prayer
Attempts at a balanced, healthy life (fitness, food)
Improvements in living situations (work, living quarters)
Study & reading good books (for inspiration, leisure, learning, finding role models, etc.)

I go in more detail elsewhere. If you want to see some things I already covered, I might recommend looking at my earlier success stories & their comments (my earlier postings generally had more information) or my journal (which can be a large task at this point...).

And again, if you have more concrete questions, please let me know.
Thanks for stopping by.

God bless,
AMM

 

@Quartzite : Unfortunately, I must be quick. I cannot give you a long response due to my limited time here. But I can elaborate further at need or when time presents itself to me. If you have more questions, do not hesitate to ask.

With that said, here is my initial response:

I do not really have much to offer you here on NoFap in that regard--I do not manage groups or have a series of connections.

I have found that section useful, & I am not acquainted with the restriction that you reference. However, if memory serves me...some functions on NoFap might be delayed for new users? I cannot remember.

If you want an AP here, sometimes it just takes a bit more time. If you interact long enough, start a journal, etc., you are bound to find like-minded & friendly people who might be your AP.

That said, my original suggestion was, again, in real life as opposed to here. Support here is good, but it is not the same as having someone with whom you can meet & suffer with & have on call at any time.

Offhand, it is hard to say. I think one needs a proper attitude of not giving up. Not everything comes all at once--especially since these habits likewise did not develop all at once but were formed (likely enough) over many years.

I think one also needs to be clear with goals. It is easy to make excuses for yourself--so if you know your goals, it is harder to make these excuses.

At first, I was very prone to calling my IRL accountability partner. He signed up for this, & he knew how deep I was in it. So he really was available at any time (& I mean any time). Having others shine a light on our darkness is a great aid. So often we blind ourselves & our consumed with passion that clouds reason. It can be almost impossible to get out of that. But if you have the foresight to reach out to a friend, he can be a voice of reason when your own reason is darkened. Often enough, this is enough to sober the mind.

But I had regular recourse to prayers as well.

But I did not really have a technique. I just knew that I had to keep going--& this often meant struggling along. So, again, not giving up is key. Every little gain is of great import. Even if one takes some steps backwards, not all is lost. It all adds up in the long run.

 

Yes--this much is true! If you read the earlier success stories--especially the first few in the link or the start of my journal--you will note a marked difference. Some points in the journey are very rough. There was one point I even was close to resetting.

This is one of the reasons that I journal; there is at the very least a bit more concrete "data" to pull from. After all, the memory is so hazy.

In short: If I can do it, you are likely able to do it, too! Rome was not built in a day--nor was this streak!

God bless,
AMM

 

To put it simply: Things get easier. They really do.

If I see such things--which occurs from time to time (billboards, magazines, YouTube ads [which really really bothers me...because children & young people use YouTube, too!], etc.)--I am often fine & can move on with facility.

Even with more triggering situations, I find myself mostly find.

The worst times for me seem to be seasonal or when I let a memory that "randomly" appeared take too much hold.
The seasonal stuff is largely out of my control; people's lives tend to go in seasons.
As for the memories: I am getting better at "stopping them at the gate."

Please note, however, that I really avoid a lot of bad situations to begin with. And I tend to take to simpler pleasures these days, like reading, or praying, or talking, or working out. Tangible things--whether or not I am good at them at all, for that matter.

I hope that helps.

God bless,
AMM

 

@Mohammad1381 , @nomo : Thank you both for stopping by--unfortunately, I cannot say much more at present. I am trying to reduce my time online.

If you have more questions, you can always ask via a message. As for Mohammad's question: I think you asked something similarly above, if I am not mistaken? I would need you to clarify the question more for me to give a better answer.

At any rate--I am in a rush. I cannot give you much more than that at present, unfortunately

God bless,
AMM